Barely Breathing//Ethis

105||

Jakob's point of view:

"What if I can't handle this worse?" Ethan asks "what if this is too much?"

"That's why you're here, they're going to help you" I tell him

"Everyone keeps talking about how I'm here to get better and how they're going to help me, when no one actually has." He replies

"Well you haven't been here that long I guess, they probably want to focus on separate things first instead of inundating you with everything all at once" I try to reason, he has a point. I don't know why nothing's being done but it's probably for a good reason.

"Yeah that makes sense." He nods

The door opens and Chris walks in carrying a sandwich, he hands it to Ethan and we all just kind of watch as he opens it. Ethan takes the sandwich out of the packaging and he opens the sandwich to see what's inside.

"Uh, Chris" Ethan says looking down at the mayonnaise sandwich then up at Chris, I'm beyond confused right now.

"Shit I'm so sorry, I should have checked before I-" 

"It's okay," Ethan says calmly "can you just get me something else?"

"Of course, I'm sorry. I'll be right back."  Chris takes the sandwich from Ethan and leaves just as quickly as he came

"Can I ask a question?"

"Go ahead." Ethan sighs

"What's wrong with the sandwich?" I ask hesitantly

"It's not really the sandwich. It's the sauce." He rests his head on his hands for a second "it's like um- the sauces remind me of..."

He trails off and just stares at me expectedly, I don't think I'm understanding.

"Oh." I realise, his gaze shifts to the ground and I don't know what to do so I put my arm around him "it's okay"

The door opens once again and Chris walks in still looking as apologetic as before.

"I checked this time." He announces triumphantly handing Ethan the sandwich

Ethan opens it and peers inside just in case. No mayonnaise.

"I don't suppose you'll kiss me now too, will you?" Ethan asks looking back up at Chris

"That depends, are you going to eat without it?" Chris smiles

"I am a little hungry I guess" Ethan sighs looking at the sandwich and turning it over in his hands.

I think this is the first time Ethan's ever admitted to actually wanting to eat and I can't say that I'm not surprised.

"Hey Chris," I say getting his attention, I doubt Ethan wants us to watch him eat "don't you think you should probably go home and shower? I can stay here with Ethan." I suggest

"Yeah, yeah maybe I should." He nods hesitantly looking at Ethan for a second and then back at me "you'll stay with him overnight?"

"I will." I nod "I'm going to be with him the whole time and he's going to be completely fine. He's fine now."

I don't know why we're talking about him like this when he's right here with us and could easily intervene with his own input, but he doesn't.

"I wish I could go home." Ethan says suddenly "I hate it here"

Ethan picks up the little container with all of the medication he has to take inside and he tips them into his palm. There's so many.

"I hate this too" he says "I don't even know what half of these are for, shouldn't I know what they're for if I'm taking them?"