Barely Breathing//Ethis

52||

Ethan's point of view:

The ride back to the band house is a little uncomfortable for me, I don't know how to act or what to say around either of Chris' parents anymore and it probably makes me come off more anxious and shy than they already thought.

His mum is trying to make small talk about how the band is going but I'm not really contributing to the conversation. She knows. She knows what Jeremy did, they used to be good friends and now they aren't even talking, at least I don't think they are. Are his parents going to confront him about it? What if he denies it and they believe him?

"Stop stressing, they won't treat you any different." Chris leans over and whispers in my ear, like he knew exactly what I was thinking. I nod giving him a small smile, he doesn't have to know how I feel. I don't have to tell him what I'm thinking every single day.

As soon as we get home I thank his mum quickly getting out the car. I unlock the front door leaving it open for Chris as I walk inside

"How'd it go?" Jakob asks coming into the hallway

"Fine." I snap running up the stairs and into my room, I sit on the end of my bed placing both hands on the back of my neck.
Yesterday was so stressful, what have I gotten myself into? How could I tell them that easily? Is anything going to change? All I know is this is all my fault.

"Stop that." Chris' voice sounds from the doorway

"I'm not doing anything" I sigh

"Yes you are, you're overthinking" he says leaning on the doorframe

"I'm fine, I think I just need to be in the studio. That always helps" I tell him hanging my arms by my side

"We leave in an hour" he says walking away

I stand up and pull my shirt over my head and picking up the nearest one, it looks clean and it smells clean so I put it on. I throw on a cap to hide my messy hair and decide to scroll through Instagram and maybe notice a few fans until it's time to go.

The time passes quickly and soon it's almost time to go so I put on my shoes and grab the backpack hanging on the back of my door. I sling it over my back and jog downstairs meeting Jakob there

"I'm sorry for snapping at you before, you could say it wasn't the best of days for me." I apologise shuffling my feet awkwardly

"It's alright, I understand" he replies, footsteps come bounding down the staircase and stop at the bottom, Chris

"Let's go" Jakob says opening the front door

Owen drives us to the studio and we all pile out of the car entering the big building, we make our way into our studio and I sit down on the nearest desk chair.

"Okay boys, let's get to work. I think you need to write another original song, something we can release onto iTunes before we release the EP," He instructs us, Chris reaches for his guitar and starts tuning his guitar "alright I'll leave you to it" he finishes exiting the room and closing the door behind him

"We're going to need a start to the chorus so we can go from there" Chris says

The room is silent for a few minutes as we all think

"You deserve someone that's honest," I blurt out, not meaning to say it. I was thinking of my relationship with Chris and I guess it just slipped out, Chris' head snaps up and Jakob turns to face me too "suggestion."

"Right," Chris nods regaining his composure "um I like it, Jake?"

"Yeah, I like it too" he smiles

"Okay, we can work with this," Chris nods, also smiling "what about: I'm just being honest?"

"That's good." I nod in agreement

"Why don't we just rehearse one of our other songs or covers and that might help us" Jakob suggests

"Amnesia?" Chris asks already putting his fingers on the chords, I nod already feeling my throat tighten. I've always had trouble singing this song, it makes me emotional because all it does is make me think of all the reasons I wish I actually had amnesia. I never disagreed to performing it though because I don't want to inconvenience anyone.

I snap out of my thoughts and find myself already singing my solo line "cause I'm not fine at all" my voice cracks at the end and I duck my head staring down at the floor

"Ethan are you okay?" Jakob asks and Chris stops playing

"Yeah, sorry" I smile up at them

"We can stop and take a break if you want to" he continues

"No," I say firmly "this is more important"

"No it isn't" Chris buts in

"Yes, it is" I argue getting annoyed

"Ethan." He says matching my tone

"Chris, stop" I look up at him

"You're the one that started this" he snaps, I stand up pushing my chair back and walking out the room.

Chris' point of view:

"Ethan, wait" I chase after him down the hallway, he stops "I'm sorry, I was being stupid. I shouldn't have done that" I breathe

"It's okay, I just think I need to get some fresh air" he replies pushing the glass doors open and stepping outside

"Do you mind if I join you?" I ask already standing beside him anyway, he doesn't answer as his phone goes off.

I watch him reach into his pocket and pull out his phone, he bites his lip as he unlocks it.

All the colour quickly drains and his face goes white, he drops his phone in what appears to be shock, obviously not caring that it hits the concrete.

"Ethan, are you okay?" I ask placing a hand on his shoulder but he flinches so I immediately retract it.

I bend down and pick up his phone, only to see that the screen has cracked. I can still make out what's on the screen, though. I almost wish I couldn't.

It's a series of photos. Photos of Ethan and Jeremy from TVK in the supply closet. The camera appears to be hidden so I don't think Ethan even knew these photos were being taken.

It's not hard to tell that Ethan's crying in them, I flick through the photos and the last one is of Jeremy taking off Ethan's jeans.

I quickly send them to myself, just in case we need them. I stand back up and look at Ethan. He's staring ahead at nothing in particular, his eyes a little glazed over deep in thought. 

I hand him his phone and only then does he snap out of his trance, he hurriedly unlocks it and I watch him delete the photos just glad that I sent them to myself.

"Let's go home." I announce, and this time he doesn't disagree, in fact he doesn't say anything at all. I turn back to the building and walk back into the studio, Jakob seems to catch the drift and he's already handing me my guitar.