Barely Breathing//Ethis

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This chapter contains some triggering content as well as probably making no sense because I haven't edited it but deal with it :))) 

Jakob's point of view:

I'm a pretty light sleeper, at least that's what everyone tells me. I often wake from the slightest noise which meant that I of course woke when footsteps stop at my doorway.

"Ethan are yo-"

"I can't stop the bleeding" he cuts me off urgently, fully awake now I sit up and rush over to him.

I can't see him very well because my eyes haven't adjusted to the darkness but from what I can see is that Ethan is shirtless and he is what appears to be pressing his shirt against his hip, failing as there is obviously blood seeping through.

I grab his arm lightly, taking him carefully down the stairs not wanting him to hurt himself any further.
Leading him into the kitchen I quickly flick the light on and I watch as he pushes himself up to sit on the kitchen counter before I turn and begin looking for the first aid kit. Finding it, I take it out and place it beside Ethan on the counter. I gently take his hand along with his shirt away from his hip. He looks away as blood starts to slowly trickle from the cuts. They're deep.

In a swift action, I wipe the blood away cleaning the wounds with a wet cloth before I quickly place a bandaid carefully across them.

"I fucked up really bad this time Jake" he whispers biting down on his bicep lightly

"Why didn't you come to me?" I ask joining him on the kitchen counter

"I didn't want to bother you" he replies meeting my eyes now

"You never bother me" I tell him

"It's sad because my family haven't even noticed that I'm getting bad again, shouldn't they know by now that I'm getting worse? I remember when I first started to get like this, I found myself not wanting to get out of bed, and everyone yelling at me to stop going to sleep so late. But it wasn't that, I was not tired at all. At least not the tired they thought I was. I was sad, I was so very sad that even getting out of bed seemed pointless to me. It was hard, being so sad that it became a struggle to get up in the morning. Things are starting to get like that again, and the worst part is; I don't even care. I just thought that this would help put my mind at ease, take my mind off things and it did, at least for a little while. Then when I started feeling lightheaded I freaked out, the blood wouldn't stop. Ultimately yes, I didn't want it to but in that split moment panic washed over me and fear seemed to find it's way to me so I came to you, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I didn't know how else to handle this. Pain is all I've ever known. I don't know how much longer I can do this, I can't live like this." He says as calm as ever.

I know I can't tell him this. At least not now but, he needs Chris. I know Chris wouldn't do something like that without a reason behind it and I'm going to find that out because I don't want to have to see that Ethan has killed himself over this. As bad as that seems, it could happen. He's never been this depressed and it's doing things to his state of mind and making him think and do things that he knows isn't right.

"Ethan, I'm going to ask Lara to come and stay with you. I have to go do something" I tell him pulling out my phone.
No less than five minutes later she replies saying she'll be here soon.
I turn back to Ethan to see that he has begun crying lightly

"I'm really sorry Jakob"

"It's okay, everything's going to be alright. Next time when you feel like doing this, please come to me. I don't care what time it is or where I am. I don't want you to do this." I tell him placing a hand on his knee

There is a knock at the door and I immediately jump off the counter glancing one last time at Ethan and making my way down the hallway.
Lara scurries in, I take her into the kitchen and thankfully Ethan hasn't moved at all from his place on the counter. Lara takes one look at the whole situation; the medical kit and Ethan's arm and she manages to put two and two together.

"I don't want to leave him alone," I whisper to her and she nods understandably "I'll be back soon" I announce getting my jacket and walking out into the cold air, shutting the door behind me.

I take the short cut to the band house knowing full well that Chris will be there alone or at least shut away in his room. He better have a really good reason for doing what he did to Ethan, he doesn't get to do that and get away with it on my watch. If it were up to Ethan, he would probably forget the whole thing and forgive him at the drop of a hat with the right words. If he finds the strength to be near him ever again.

I slide my key into the keyhole silently
opening the door, I make my way up to Chris' room to see his door ajar, a mix of music and what sounds like crying is coming from inside. I push the door open stepping into his room, he's lying right across his bed sprawled out.

"Jakob?" He says surprised turning to look at me

"You better have a really good explanation" I reply closing the door, he sits up now rubbing his eyes

"I was drunk," he sighs bluntly, I raise an eyebrow staring at him waiting for him to continue with whatever else he has to say. "I went to a party to pick up Lara, and I got drunk so when I came home the next day Ethan helped me. I was stressed out so I used my fake ID to buy alcohol and I got drunk again, Ethan came home and I guess I just lost it, I really love him and I got carried away. I didn't mean to hurt him, I didn't mean for any of this to happen but now I can't stop. It's addicting. Do you think he'll forgive me?" He tells me, I must admit I'm a little shocked. That was one of the things I was not expecting him to say

"Well Chris I hope you're sober right now because you need to hear this, all of it." I start not waiting for him to nod or say anything "Ethan's an emotional and physical wreck. Do you know what you did? The long term damage you've done? No one can touch him, or even try to without him flinching. He doesn't sleep, he doesn't eat and he barely speaks. All he does is cry, either that or he's emotionless. He blames himself, he thinks it's all his fault."

He sits staring at me, saying nothing for a few moments

"Physically?" He asks quietly looking up at me properly

"All he can think or talk about is what you did, or hurting himself. He hurt himself before, it was bad Chris. He only came to me because it was bad which means he could had done something before but it just wasn't as bad. He was getting better, at least that's what we thought but this one thing ruined it again." I tell him firmly keeping eye contact with him the entire time.

"I need to fix this Jakob, please let me see him" he says with tears welling up in his eyes

"Let's go"

We don't drive mainly because I can't tell if Chris has been drinking today or not. We take the same route I took and we are soon entering my house.

We walk into the living room and I stop almost immediately.

Lara and Ethan are making out right before us on my couch.
Chris walks right up to them and has to pry them off each other, he grabs the back of Ethan's shirt pulling him well away from Lara.
Now seeing that it was Chris who pulled him away Ethan begins to freak out trying to move away from him

"Get away from me" he says desperately

"Lara I think you should go" Chris says ignoring Ethan and turning to Lara

"Ethan it's okay" I assure him sitting next to him.
This does nothing to ease his breathing or the worried expression on his face as Chris sits opposite him ready to tell Ethan everything he told me.