A love that brings pain.

Part Seventy-Nine

Previously

  As she began to walk away he grabbed her arm forcing her to him. They shared an intense eye lock as his eyes dominated over hers, she couldn't keep the eye lock for long knowing that he would be able read her just by her eyes. Sometimes she would blame herself for being so transparent before him but he was her soulmate as much as she wanted to deny it they were the same soul in two bodies residing in each others hearts. He grabbed on to her forcing her up against a wall as she instantly thought of all of the times this had happened to them. "Why are you so adamant to try and hide your feelings, it not a burden for anyone Draupadi not to me anyway, i just wish you peace and if i can help reduce your stresses and share the anguish of your heart i want to do that but you won't let me because you just won't let me all the way in." He grasped her shoulders shaking her slightly as she whispered "i like the pain. Don't look shocked Arjun, ever since i stepped out the fire i have constantly had to deal with trials and tribulations but i don't complain for one reason and one reason only;i love my family to much, i'd rather go through the pain alone rather then tell them or anyone because i see the look in their eyes. Hope. They expect so much of me; they look at me with this sense of hope that is indescribable." "You can still be that type of hope Draupadi, you don't need to keep this in because when you break you will end up breaking twice as hard." She looked back at him "So what let me break, i don't need you to pick up the pieces and the smash it all over again, i did that once Arjun, i let you make me believe in love and what the heck did you do-here let me jog your memory; you hurt me. Broke me into a thousand pieces and what do you want to be a part of my life only to do the same again. She looked at as he looked at her shocked beyond all, she rolled her eyes, she began to walk off again but once again he caught her. Damn his warrior instincts she thought, "If i didn't mean anything to you why is my name in your mendhi." She closed her eyes she had been caught. He twirled her back to him trapping her against his muscular well built frame as he whispered into her ear. "Nothing escapes my eyes, especially if it is related to you."  

  Her eyes drifted to the horizon, the sky was pink and the sharp prongs of bare trees had ripped a hole in the clouds. Through the wound the colours of winter bled and burnt her mind. "Draupadi, i will ask you again- Why is my name in your mendhi." She looked sharply into his eyes "Because i still love you Arjun. My every breath every heart beat has your name written on it- but the bitter truth is that you hurt me Arjun, and i don't trust easily, you built me up only for you to knock me back down. What happens if i choose to accept you again and then in the future you walk away from me, i barely coped the first time i can't do it again Arjun and please don't ask me to." He looked straight at her his gaze piercing through lie his arrows "Draupadi that is the bliss of falling in love, When two souls fall in love, there is nothing else but the yearning to be close to each other. The presences is felt through holding hands, hearing a voice and the sight of a smile. Even through a simple touch. Souls don't have calender's or clocks, nor do they understand the notion of time and distance. They only know that it feels right to be with one another. This is the reason why we can't live without each other, your soul  feels the absence-  it doesn't realise that the separation it temporary, either way Draupadi i'll always find my way back to you and same with you, as much as you probably don't like it we live in each others hearts even if you would try and forget me you wouldn't be able to because the most powerful weapon that everyone has is their heart, your heart always overpowers your mind and right now i can see the conflict in your eyes you want to hate me;your mind is telling you that but your heart belongs with me and me only."

She turned around so she wasn't facing him, the wind rushing through her hair, "You know Arjun when you left i felt incomplete, i know that mother told you all how i was adamant to forget you and all that happened but i never could the more i tried to run away from you, you kept coming back to me. When i saw you after i didn't know what i wanted from you when i looked into your eyes i felt my self break within, i knew that this was all your lots plan to get me and you back together i'm not dumb i added the pieces together, yet despite being hurt from you and knowing that you would be here i decided to come because i couldn't stay away. i wouldn't. And sometimes i thinking i'm causing myself more pain. Love....Love well made doesn't exist because it ends up destroying everyone." She turned to him "I have no problem admitting before you Arjun that i...i love you. But i don't know what i will do if you leave me. I know i always say i am fearless but i'm scared of what could happen if...."