Chapter 77

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Mimi didn't register anything after that until she felt her body being placed onto of something soft. She managed to crack her eyes open long enough to look around the opulent hotel room. The only light that Shigure had left on was the one in the entrance that at lit the room in a dim glow.

She felt the bed dip as he sat down next to her and when he pulled her into his arms she fell apart. Mimi curled up into a tight ball and started sobbing uncontrollably taking in deep laboured breaths. Mimi couldn't wrap her mind around what Jinpachi had possibly done to her. It was hours before she calmed down, all that time Shigure sat next to her stroking her back trying to console her.

Her breathing evened out and the tears stopped running down her face. She looked up, into his bone tired and weary eyes, to let him know she had calm down.

Shigure used the tip of his fingers to brush her hair out of her face and wipe away some of the wetness on her cheeks. He gave her a soft smile and said, "What happened back there?"

Her thoughts turned back to that night at Blue Star and Jinpachi, and her stomach started to churn. Mimi sat bolt upright and ran to the bathroom. She didn't even turn on the light as she headed towards the toilet flopping down in front of it. She managed to get the lid open before the entire contents of her stomach emptied in a violent explosion. The force of it was so great vomit splattered all over the toilet and even in her hair.

When she couldn't throw up anything else Mimi dragged herself to the bathtub and ran the hot water. Laying her head against the cool porcelain she waiting for the water to heat up. She heard soft foot steps behind her and then felt a warm hand on her back. Mimi didn't try to push him away because she felt very safe. Shigure leant over her holding a pure white flannel under the water. He crouched down next to her and proceeded to clean all the disgusting bits off of her.

When he finished he bundled her up in his arms. As they passed the huge mirror she didn't bother looking. Mimi already knew she looked like road kill that had been repeatedly run over and baked in the hot summer sun.

Shigure carried her back into the room and sat down on the bed with her in his arms. "Please, Mimi, tell me what is going on. You know you can tell me anything." She could hear the slight tremble in his voice and looked into his deep brown eyes. They held such worry and concern it broke her heart and she took a shuddering breath. He held her tighter and whispered, "Please just tell me what I can do." He sighed then said, "If you want I can call Ha and get him to come back. You know he would drop everything to be with you."

Hearing this sent a stabbing pain through her heart, the thought of how hurt Hatori would be if he ever found out was unbearable. "Please don't do that," her voice was shaking, soaked in fear and desperation.

She watched as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I don't like it, Mimi. What I saw on the dance floor. No. What I saw back in August was fucked up. Does Jinpachi do this often?

"I know what his childhood was like and even as a child I could tell it messed him up. But for God's sake, Mimi, if you want me to keep quiet you're going to have to give me something. Because I told you before if he pulled that shit again I wasn't going to let it slide."

Everything was catching up to her, Mimi felt spider web cracks spreading out across her heart. The pain grew as the cracks began to grow causing her whole body to shake. Her mind screamed at her, warning her that if she didn't tell someone everything it would break her. She knew instinctively it would take her years to recover if could at all.

She needed Erika in that moment. Erika was the only other person who knew the full story between her and Jinpachi's and Mimi needed to talk it all through. She fished in her pocket and pulled out her phone and called Erika. Mimi looked at Shigure but didn't give him any explanation. Erika's phone went straight to voice main and she let the phone slip out of her hands.

She dropped her head and twisted her fingers in her head. Trying not to give into the darkening madness that was threatening to consume her if she didn't unburden herself. The thought of telling someone about what happened between her and Jinpachi when they broke up was frightening. Mimi didn't open up, didn't share things with others easily. Repression had always been a way to survive all the bad things that had happened to her.

Shigure stroked her back. "Please, tell me what's going on."

She looked up at him, fighting the natural urge to run. The voice in her head telling her she had to tell him started screaming again. Mimi tried to shake it and shove it in the closet but it was no use. Her shoulder slumped forward and she took a deep shuddering breath as desperation and self preservation won out in the end.

Mimi placed a shaking hand on his chest and looked up at him again. "The things Jin went through in his childhood, no one should've to experience them. But he wasn't the only one that went through something like that," her voice instinctively cut off. She was on unnatural ground.

Truly opening up to someone wasn't something she had done many times before. "Shigure, this is very difficult for me but I'll tell you everything. However, you have to promise me and I mean swear on your life that you will never ever tell Hatori what I'm about to tell you." He was about to say something but she placed her fingers on his lips silencing him. "If you can't do that then we're done here."

His lips turned down in a deep frown as he gave her a hard look. "You know you're not being fare here, Mimi. And I don't like the fact you're putting me in an impossible situation. Believe me, I want you to know you can trust me but I don't understand why you would want to keep this from Ha. It's not like he would leave you for something that happened in the past."

She closed her eyes as guilt chipped away at her heart. She knew it should be Hatori and not him she was telling all this to, but she couldn't. Hatori was her shining beacon and she couldn't risk tainting him.

"Don't you think I know that. I'm not afraid of him leaving me. Hell I don't deserve him. If you think what happened to Jin was fucked up, well think again. I don't want my past hurting Ha."

But why, a tiny voice whispered, you told Jin and it didn't hurt him. Knowing what happened to only made your bond with him stronger. Why can't you trust the man you say you love? Mimi shook her head trying to dispel the voice, she didn't want to think about that know.

She watched his jaw tighten as he processed what she had just said. It was a few minutes before he spoke. "Fine. I swear on my life, Amelia, that whatever you tell me I won't tell anyone. I can see you don't have many people in your life that you can truly trust and open up to. I want you to know that I am someone that you can lean on and trust." He brushed away a few of the tears that had started to run down her face.

Hearing him say that caused something inside of her to crumble. It felt as if a huge wall was coming down and relief washed over her. She didn't know where to start there was a lifetime of pain and secrets to unburden. 

Mimi took in a lungful of air and held it then let it out and started. She told him about her relationship with Jin and everything that happened between them. Mimi felt sick and ashamed as she spoke. Yet she knew she needed to tell him everything no matter how dirty it made her feel. Mimi had meant to leave it at that but he had asked questions about her childhood and all the horrible events of what she had gone through came tumbling out of her like a torrent.

Shigure sat there, taking in everything she told him, holding onto her when she started shivering and wiping away the tears that never stopped pouring out of her eyes. When Mimi finished recounting what happened he sat with her stroking her back, telling her over and over again that it wasn't her fault and she was safe, until she fell asleep.   

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