Descendants of the Sun

Happy Birthday Angel Kim Jonghyun

*This is not an update, everyone. It's a birthday letter for SHINee's Kim Jonghyun.

Hello brother Jonghyun,

How are you doing up there? Are you doing fine up there? Are you having fun with your friends up there? I could only hope to hear you say yes. I just want to wish you a happy birthday up there. I realized it will be the first birthday without you here on earth. It kind of saddens me though because I know that you have gone too soon. The world has been too cruel to you; they don't deserve you as an angel here on earth. Now you have returned your home...you have finally found your peace. I know you did well, Jonghyun.

When I saw the full moon at night, I began to think about you. I wonder if you're still watching me but I already know you are. I believe it. When I saw the beautiful clear blue sky with white clouds, I think about you. I know you're doing okay up there. Since the day you left the world until now, I'm still staying stronger not only because of you, but also for SHINee and for all the people who I love and trust. But I remember when the week you left us, I've fallen into a deep depression that I couldn't do anything but cry. As the days passed by, the depression was about to eat me alive. I began to listen music as my hobby to distract myself from that.

There was a song, however, that I heard a long time ago. It was originally a soundtrack from a childhood movie I used to love. The song was called, "Sound the Bugle" by Bryan Adams. It definitely relates to what I was going through. I felt myself wanted to give up everything, not caring the people around me. But the song had slowly turned into a tone of hope. There was a part when I felt like you literally told me through those lyrics:

'Remember who you are.

If you lose yourself your courage soon will follow.

So be strong tonight. Remember who you are.'

Those lyrics struck me real hard into tears. I remember who I was before you passed away. When I cry, it doesn't tell me that I'm weak. It tells me to stay stronger than ever. It took time for me to heal those wounds. But about two months after you passed away, I have declared myself free from depression, thanks to the song I've been listening to, "You Can't Take Me" by Bryan Adams. I saw the music videos of yours: Shinin' and Before Our Spring. Those two songs had told me one promise from you: you promised that you will always be with us in our hearts and soul until we'll meet each other one day.

I hope you're taking care of your four brothers, your mom and your older sister. I'm certain that they missed you a lot, but will always remember you in their hearts. I have the same feeling as they do. I know you're watching me over too, but I'm feeling a bit sad because it's your birthday without us celebrating together. I guess you'll be celebrating in heaven, right? Thank you for making the memories with us for the last 10 years. You're one of the best singers I've heard and known about you. You're the best poet and artist I ever have. Keep shining bright like a diamond in the sky. My only hope is that one day, if God wills, we'll see each other again. Thank you, Jonghyun, for everything. God bless you. I love SHINee and I love you.

A Dedicated Song for Kim Jonghyun's birthday ~ Shine Bright Like A Diamond