{Supernatural Imagines} /REQUESTS CLOSED\

•Supernatural Imagine• #134: Sugar Coma

⚠️ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO MENTAL HEALTH OR RELATED STUFF YOU MIGHT WANT TO CLICK OFF ⚠️

Sugar Coma
Castiel

Requested By: ErikaJudkins

Imagine... Castiel has always been there for you through thick and thin, after the unexpected death of your parents, you've suffered extreme PTSD that caused panic attacks to ensue. Castiel has always been there, even when the boys don't fully understand.

"Erika, you cannot stay in there all day. Please talk to me, please." Castiel pleaded from outside the bedroom door.

This has been going on for weeks, you stayed in your room to keep yourself away from the outside world. After what happened and what Cas did, you cannot forget it.

"Leave me alone!" You shouted, you didn't want him to. Somewhere deep inside you wanted him to blow open the door and make all your pain go away.

"You have not eaten, slept or even went outside for 3 weeks.." Cas's voice trailed off "You worry me, Erika."

You stood from the bed, forcing your curly brown locks into a messy bun. Cas was right, you haven't gone outside or even eaten anything for weeks. It's been a nightmare every single day.

The door opened, your hand shook as you touched the metal.

*FLASHBACK*

"MOM!" It all happened so fast, a man held you tightly. She was on the floor, you could hear the horrific sound of her skull crashing against the hard wood floor of the bunker.

She wasn't herself, you knew she was a demon. But she was your mother, your family, your blood.

You blinked away the tears and fell to the ground, your cries came out as shrieks and you screamed at the top of your lungs until you couldn't possibly scream anymore.

Castiel was all you could see now as you opened your eyes, he stood over top of your mothers corpse and your father remained at her feet. Dead as well.

They were both demons and they tried to attack you, but Castiel didn't have to kill them. He didn't... Did he?

You snapped back to reality as a hand reached out to you, immediately dismissing it. It was Cas.

"What is wrong?" He was always so concerned about you, but you couldn't push those thoughts away. Those memories.

"You don't understand," You kept your sweater covered arms close to you as you moved down the hallway, keeping your distance. "I had to watch my parents die in front of me, at the hands of you."

Castiel knew that, he did not want to do it in front of you. You are so young, so vulnerable. (sorry if you're not so young lol)

"I cannot tell you how sorry I am, Erika. Please just talk to me." Castiel grabbed your hand and stopped you from walking anymore.

Tears brimmed your eyes, you didn't want him to see how upset he made you. How vulnerable you really were.

You jumped at the sudden touch and pulled away, still standing in place. Cas's blue eyes consumed yours and you couldn't move.

"You need to see a doctor, you're not sleeping, you lack an appetite, you have been uncontrollable and even... angry lately. You're not okay." Castiel was genuinely worried, you knew that but that didn't change things.

"I am fine, they're gone and I have to move on. Even if it hurts me." You mustered up the fakest smile to prevent yourself from crying anymore. That's all you've been doing lately.

Cas looked down at his feet, looking completely at a lost for words.

"Please, just think about it. For me." You stared into his helpless eyes and nodded, mostly only to end this conversation.

•
•
•

A couple hours passed by and the boys were gone, they left for a case and said they wouldn't be back for a couple days. This is the first time you've been left alone.

You stated at the ceiling, watched as the fan blades made circles over your head. Focusing on them, trying to focus on only one.

"You did this, this is all your fault."

Visions replayed in your head, memories you so desperately wanted to go away. This pain, this agony could not last any longer.

"GIVE IN!"

You jumped out of bed almost immediately, forcing yourself to sober up from the bottle that was sitting now empty on your nightstand.

Staring at yourself in a broken mirror made you cringe, your appearance was so ragged. Your hair was a mess, your skin was pale and your lips were so dry and cracked. Your eyes were bloodshot and drained of life.

You felt empty inside, nearly hollow. You felt nothing, nothing at all.

You dialled a number in your phone, it didn't take long until the person on the other line picked up.

———

"Erika, is everything alright?"

"No"

"What happened?"

"I can't do this anymore"

You sobbed into the phone.

"I can't live like this, in pain. It's too much, I can't do it!"

"I wake up every morning and feel absolutely and utterly worthless. This unbearable pain in my chest I cannot manage it-"

He paused you right there.

"Listen to me, listen to my voice."

You trembled and continued to cry, but covered your mouth to stop him from hearing you.

"You are not worthless, you're not damaged or broken. This isn't who you will be forever, the pain will never go away but you will learn to live with this and move forward. Build yourself back up instead of crashing down."

"I'm not going to tell you how to act, preach to you how easy it will be because it won't be, it will be hell. But I can tell you I will be here for you every step of the way."

You cried into your palm, but somehow made a smile appear on your pale face. The first smile in weeks that felt real, that was real.

———

The line went dead, your smiled faded and you dropped the phone from your hand. What happened to Castiel?

"Erika.." The voice frightened you but it was terribly familiar, Castiel, he came.

"You came" You smiled again, you haven't smiled this much in ever, only when Cas is around.

Castiel moved in closer and placed a soft and careful hand on your now rosy cheek.

"I always come when you call." Castiel smiled, as did you.

He always did, and he always will.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!

I AM NOT GOING TO SIT HERE AND MAKE EXCUSES. I JUST HAVEN'T FELT MOTIVATED, SO MUCH HAS CHANGED SINCE I STARTED THESE TWO YEARS AGO.

I HOPE YOU ALL UNDERSTAND AND I AM STILL TRYING ❤️