Stairs in the North :: seoksoo

SITN :: 29

*seokmin*

we locked at each others eyes once again. . it took more than three minutes before i smiled, i smiled wide showing him that it didnt affect me. . i told you right? im going to support him, so if he was courting seola already, im gonna support him still.

thats why im smiling. . im smiling even if deep inside. . i was breaking. piece by piece.

"w-waw! legit? for real? ikaw may nilalagawan?!" i had to cheer my voice up! good that i was good at feigning my feelings and pretending that i was fine so it was easy for me. and i was so happy that my voice wasnt cracking up unlike earlier. "i thought you'll stay single until you became a lawyer. ang torpe mo pa naman kase." i even had to laugh to shatter this feelings inside of me.

stay strong satin, self. you can do it. ayaw mong masira friendship nyo diba? so this was the best way to keep that treatment. its okay to stay friends than not talking with each other anymore if ever he might know my feelings for him. i need to be contented. hanggang dito lang. hanggang best friend lang.

he looked away and i saw how he swallowed hard. i could also see that his gripped on his phone tightened. bakit? di ka ba makapaniwala na susuportahan kita? come on joshua, you started it. dont act like as if you dont want me supporting you courting that girl. he should be happy though. im still supporting him kahit sobra nang sakit dito sa loob ko. im still going to be by his side even if there's someone who  he can lean on anytime.

he should be happy. . pero bakit hindi? i mean, he wasnt showing any emotions that he was happy, he was just surprised and looked like as if im going to contradict on what he informed me. ano bang akala nya? hindi ko sya susuportahan? that i was going to argue about it? ano?

"come on hyung, why arent you happy? totoo naman diba? torpe ka kaya!" i teased and even push him on his elbow to gain him back to his senses. "seola was so lucky! gosh isang torpeng kagaya mo nanliligaw sakanya ngayon." i honestly wanted to get buried on the ground like as in right now.

he slowly raised his gaze to me. and his eyes was hinting something. . hinting like he was, in pain. that it hurted him knowing that im going to support him with that thing. i was so confuse as to why he was acting like this. he should he happy! sya lang yata yung nakilala kong hindi masaya na pinaalam nyang may nilalagawan na sya! jusko dai!

"y-you're happy? for real?"

why is his voice were cracking?! is he going to cry?! come on, you're confusing me joshua!

i nodded. "of course im happy! as long as you're happy with her, im happy for you!" i smiled and wiggled my both brows to convince that i was really that. . happy.

he looked away once again and he held his head low, but after a seconds, he lift his head as he looked at me and slowly. . a smile crept into his face. i knew him better kaya alam ko kung yung ngiti nya ay peke o hindi. . and right now, what he was showing me was his other side of smile. . it wasnt fake nor real. . its a broken smile like as if he was breaking in the inside and like as if his tears was going to fall. this was the first time i saw him smiling at me like that and seeing him like this.