Chapter 15

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I think I love him.

I woke up the next morning in technos arms. We had fallen asleep together. I didn't want to move but my head was killing me.

I remember everything that happened last night. I was drunk but not drunk enough to forget. I'm kinda embarrassed. Not because I did all that stuff in front of techno but because I did all that stuff in front of other people.

I remembered the fight. It made me smile. Not because a random tried to fuck me and techno beat the shit out of him but because techno didn't hesitate. The second James put his hands on me techno went ape shit.

I wiggled out of technos arms trying not to wake him. He moved a little as I walked away. I went into the bathroom and cleaned off my makeup.

Ugh I looked horrible.

He wouldn't mind if I got in the shower right? Problem is these clothes Reek of alcohol and I don't want to wear my maid dress.

I walked out of the bathroom to see if techno had anything I could wear. He was still asleep. I tried to stay quiet, I snuck in his room and headed for the closet. As I was looking for something to wear I heard the door creek.

Techno was rubbing his head. "Looking for something?" He asked "uh yeah actually I was going to take a shower and I need a change of clothes" I said.

"Pick whatever you want I need Ibuprofen you want some?" He asked "YES" I basically screamed hurting both our heads.

He left to get the medicine while I found a hoodie and sweatpants to change into. I grabbed the clothes and the medicine from techno before leaving to shower.

I got in and stood in the warm water for a while before rinsing off the rest of my makeup. I was planning on washing my hair when I saw techno only had 3 in 1 shampoo conditioner and body wash....

We'll fix that later.

I just rinsed myself because there was no way I was using that crap. I got out dried myself and got changed. Once my hair was as dry as possible I left the bathroom to be greeted by techno at his couch.

"3 in 1 huh" I said he looked up confused "yeah?" He responded "that shit sucks you know" I said he responded with "what why?"

"It's not good for your hair and body mr. Techie" I said he gave me a weird look before changing the topic "hangovers suck" he said

"Agreed I had fun though" I added. "Me too I honestly didn't think I would have that much fun but I did" he said with a smile.

I was still mad that he 'has his eyes on someone' so I decided to bring it up.

"So who's mr. Technoblades crush I hear about?" He laughed low and said "none of your business" I gave him puppy dog eyes and said "pwease techie" he laughed low again.

"I'll describe her is that good enough?" I nodded excitedly while sitting cris cross apple sauce on his couch.

"Well for starters she's gorgeous. She has these eyes I could get lost in for days. I could stare at them for hours and I wouldn't get bored. She has really nice fluffy hair that moves perfectly when she walks, oh and her personality I've never met someone better. Everything about her I'm just in love with. I can honestly say I've never met someone more beautiful, smart, and with a personality that perfect in my life." He realized he was rambling and made a shy look and said "sorry"

Although I was jealous as hell, I wanted to hear more. He's so adorable when he talks about something he's passionate about so I said "no no keep going I wanna hear more"

"When I was younger I always told myself I was going to meet someone in high school date then get married when we graduated, obviously that didn't happen so I told myself I'll meet a girl and have a crazy story of how we met to tell our kids one day. The way I met her though was different, it was the best thing ever, the first time we talked was a funny story. But the first time we met in real life was the best day of my life. I've never been happier than I am with her." He said

"Wow" is all I could say. He really loved her "it sounds like your in love like for real in love techno" I said

"You think? What does it feel like? I've never been in love" I could tell he really does love her I don't think he knows it yet.

"Well how do you feel when your around her?" I asked "I feel like the world has gone silent, like I would do anything to stay with her just a couple more minutes anything im stressing about or sad about immediately become irrelevant the second I see her." He said

I was going to say something but he continued "and it's the craziest thing because she has flaws I know that she's not perfect but neither am I, but when I think of her flaws I don't think of them as flaws like they don't bother me at all but if it was someone else with those same flaws I wouldn't like them. It's like she's perfect in her own way. I don't need to act differently around her she likes who I really am which makes me so fucking happy"

I didn't say anything for a second I just looked at him. I'm happy for him but I know he's not nor will he ever truly be mine. He's in love with this girl.

"That's what it feels like to be in love techno like your the only two people in the world and you'd do anything to be with her, you don't see her flaws as bad things they just shape her personality right?"

"Right" he responded

"Then your in love. That's what it feels like, it's the most indescribable yet best thing in the world" i said "exactly" he responded

We sat in silence for a few seconds before he said "how do I tell her?"

I hated how I was giving the man I love advice on asking another girl out but that's what I have to do, a wise man once said 'if you truly love them you must let them free' I know I love techno, but he doesn't love me.

"Do what you think she will love make it romantic, like you said your going to want to tell your kids about this day right" I said I got a 'mmhmm' in response

"So make it memorable don't be bland do what she will love and remember the rest of her life"
I said "so like a big event?" He questioned

"No it needs to just be you and her, plan it out make the setting nice and make it something that means something to her. Don't plan what you say, it needs to be from the heart." I said

Honestly I would marry someone on the spot if they did that for me but it really depends on the girl. That was the best advice I could give.

"Okay" is all he said.

I'm heartbroken.






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