𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫. | BTS |

chapter 85 ~ 𝒎𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓

CONTAINS FLUFF, MINOR ANGST, MENTION OF PYSCH WARD & DRUGS

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     While the others celebrated their victory downstairs, I stood in the center of my empty bedroom contemplating every decision I'd ever made. How could Yura think to show up so soon after Rachel had hurt Jungkook, let alone arrive at her court appearance? Why wouldn't he show? I thought bitterly to myself. The two of them have always been buddy-buddy with each other. Of course, he'd show up. Was Yura only appearing now to taunt me? That would seem like something he'd pull, but another part of me began to panic at the thought of him and Rachel targeting one of the others. The brunette had said I'd need to worry over one of the others now, not just Jungkook. I stumbled back against my bed with my hands plastered to my dampening face, unsure what or who to believe as my thoughts began to spiral out of control.

     Maybe I should give in before it's too late. The idea of throwing in the towel now and handing myself over to my abuser was more comforting than it should've been, but streaks of frigid fear still raced down my backside. I didn't want to go back to Yura, ever, even if it meant keeping everyone else safe. I remembered Kiana's words from right before the court case that morning; she hadn't been invited to appear to testify as a witness but had offered her best wishes over the phone instead. 

     "Kiana, I can't do this anymore. It's killing me," I'd sighed, dabbing gently at my wet lashes so as to not smear my makeup.

     "I know how smart you are, kid. You're gonna get through this, okay? Just don't make any rash decisions. You'll regret them in the future."

     "I regret everything already," I grumbled, roughly scrubbing the tears from my tanned skin. There was no doubt that I wouldn't stop fighting until Yura got what he deserved, but I wished Jungkook would leave me to settle things of my own accord. I had plans, ones that would more than likely end up with me in Rachel's position and him being poised at my side to help only got in the way. If only I could continue without suffering legal consequences. A smirk played at my salty lips at the thought, ideas running rampant in my head as I thought of all the ways I wanted to torture Yura just so he knew what it was like to be in my shoes. 

      I doubted he'd survive a week.

      While everyone else drowned out their stress with laughter from beneath me, I couldn't seem to find a distraction sufficient enough to smother my own. Sighing to myself as a frown tugged at my bottom lip, I forced myself to my feet with the decision to join them downstairs. The least I could do was reside in their company. The idea of basking in their gazes as we shared a bottle of wine in celebration of Rachel's charges found guilty made me simper to myself; this was one step in the right direction, but we still had a long while to go before it was all over. All I could do was wait things out and face them when they arose.

       Each step I took downstairs, the more nervous I became. If I entered the room, would all eyes be trained on me; after all, I was the reason for both Jungkook's trauma and Rachel's arrest. I envisioned images in my head of Jimin running to me with arms outstretched for a hug, all the while the others gathered in the corner of the living room to eye me like an irritable insect. My heart slowly sunk to my stomach, making me more and more upset as I tried to keep my tears from falling. Tonight was a night of celebration, and yet all I wished to do was throw myself at my pillows and cry because I couldn't figure out how to right my wrongs. No matter what they said, I would always blame myself for the other's mishaps that involved Yura and Rachel. My inability to control them still brought about their presence simply because I existed in the other's lives.