Make 'Em Laugh

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Batman: The Animated Series 'Fan Fiction Love Story'

By Tayla Drago

Episode #81 - Make 'Em Laugh

A man in a bizarre costume calling himself the 'Condiment King' holds up an upscale restaurant. Though he is armed with nothing more than two hoses spraying ketchup and mustard, his manner is sufficiently bizarre and violent to persuade the patrons to hand over their money and valuables. Megan sees what's going on and tells Bruce/Batman about it, well he was already aware of the whole mess through police radio.

"What the...?" she calls him up. "Yo, Bruce, you might want to get over at one fancy restaurant in Gotham, some weirdo's causing trouble to everyone else...He's very strange, meet you inside."

Even the cops were having trouble with this one.

"Disturbance reported at the top of the Crown Restaurant. Suspect is a male costumed extremist armed with what appears to be a... ketchup gun."

Guess Batman was aware from Megan's words...

"It's gonna be one of those nights." he said to himself.

This weirdo criminal soon makes his getaway.

"So long, suckers! Parting is such sweet and sour sorrow."

Soon Batman and Megan arrive to stop the Condiment King from getting away with the bag full of values.

"Hold it, you...Ah..." Megan tries to get the name right. "It's Condiment King, isn't it? Anyways, freeze!"

"What's this...Ahh! The big bat guy and his lady friend. I knew you two would ketchup to me sooner or later. How I relish this meeting." said the King with his two guns out. "You, the dynamic Dark Knight, and you too, Megan Tsuki the bounty hunter in Gotham, versus me, the conceptual Condiment King! Come you two, let's see if any one of you can cut the mustard."

Batman punches the man in the gut.

"Quiet!"

"Thank you." Megan laughs.

"You hit me!" surprise the new villain.

"Now listen, Mustard Man, or whatever you call yourself. You're obviously new at this. So, I'm willing to go easy provided you give back the loot and never even think about doing this again. Deal?" said Batman.

"Horseradish!"

Almost shot Megan and Batman with one of his guns there to ducking away. And they both easily subdued the man, who starts acting up and falls off the balcony onto the roof of an arriving police car.

"Bullock, call the police!" she said and tells Megan something from below. "He's going to be all right, Megan! There's no need to panic!" Renee Montoya then removes the man's disguise and recognizes him as a famous TV comedian, Buddy Standler.

This has come to a surprising turn for Megan and Batman to hear and see that part...

"What...? Buddy Standler...?"

While Standler is still unconscious, his agent is interviewed on the TV news; he cannot explain Standler's actions but reports that his comedy show has been cancelled and he is being sued by the restaurant's owners. Robin, a fan of Standler's, is equally baffled. Hard to say for him, Batman, and Megan to see it all back at the Batcave on computer TV.

"This guy was my favorite comedy actor." he said.

Megan tries to learn more from her computer book to try getting some answers.

"Hmmm...I hope it has nothing to do of this guy not working on his old show anymore. I'm trying to find out what made him become a goofy villain, almost got ketchup all over my jeans." Megan tries to clean it off her.

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