Enticing (Harry Styles AU) #Wattys2016

Chapter 57

Playlist:
All We'd Ever Need- Lady Antebellum

Ryder's POV

I reach and pick up a random picture from the pile on my desk and  attach two pieces of tape on each side before sticking it diagonally on the wall adding it to the collage. I take a step back to look around before I add the others. My eyes scan over all the pictures consisting of the old house, a few party pictures and at university with Katie, Michael and Gavin. Along with the ones I took with Harry but it's now I realize I don't have any family portraits.

I don't have a picture on Thanksgiving with the whole family at the dinner table. I don't have a picture on Christmas morning, waking up to find what Santa had brought me for being good. I don't even have a graduation picture with my dad and with my mom, if she had stuck around long enough to be with me on that day.

Tears well again in my eyes as I look at the pictures on my wall, reminding me of the things I don't have and never will. I feel the jaws of pain beginning to open again ready to swallow me whole.

I let out a frustrated growl and reach out to the pictures on the wall, carelessly letting them fall on the floor as I tear at them vigorously. I let my anger fuel me, feeling it growing and growing until I let out a choked sob and finally step back, covering my mouth with my hand while I look at the mess I made through watery  vision. Each picture was now ripped up in different directions, half still stuck on the wall and half on the floor.

Slowly, I feel my anger shift and turn to sadness as my eyes continue to look down at the mess I made. It takes a few ticking seconds for me to now realize that my sudden outburst of anger, over myself and the things I don't have, has made me lose all of the memories that I have had managed to photograph. Every girl's night out with Katie, the Halloween costume party last year at Gavin's, the careless days playing at arcades and bowling. But the ones
that mean the most, the ones that make me feel mournful over are the one's with Harry; despite the fact that we weren't together for that long. Every stolen kiss on the cheek, every laugh capture by him as he tickled me, every moment of deep concentration on Harry's beautiful face is gone. They are all now laying on the floor and I desperately wish I could somehow turn back time to have them all back.

I shake my head feeling more tears fill my eyes as a few ran down my cheeks, my hands clenched at my sides.

"Uh, is this because I haven't called you back?" A voice speaks.

Quickly, I turn my head and see Gavin standing in my bedroom doorway feeling slightly disappointed that it was him rather than the person that I really want to see. I blink.

"W-what are you doing here?" I ask as I turned my body around to face him.

"Your dad called me." He mutters, looking at me with a sad expression as he stepped into the room.

Gavin was dressed in dark blue jeans and black converse. His shirt had short sleeves with a small v-cut shape in the front to show of a small bit of his faint chest hair. The grey material clung nicely around his upper body and although Gavin has broad arms and shoulders with his torso worked out to the point were the outer lines of his abs were visible, he still had no comparison to Harry.

Harry has a body like no one else. His muscles aren't large like the ones you would expect from a wrestler on tv but he is fit, in every sense of the word. Harry is art, there is no other way to describe him. He is perfectly imperfect and I love him but sadly he isn't mine to love and...I'm not his.

"Your dad briefed me on what happened." Gavin continues as my mind continues it's torture in remembering how Harry's eyes would crinkle and how his nose would scrunch up when he laughs. Tears well more quickly in my eyes, as I feel the grieving pain begin to start in my chest once more but less tolerable this time.