Enticing (Harry Styles AU) #Wattys2016

Chapter 58

Playlist:
I'll be Good- Jaymes Young
What's left of me- Nick Lahey
We don't talk anymore- Charlie Puth ft. Selena Gomez

Harry's POV

I stand facing the wall of windows, looking out at the grey sky above and onto the busy streets. My hands were shoved inside my pockets and my grey tie hanged loosely from my neck.

These past few days I could feel my world turning back into its dull,dark, grayness, filled with its strict routine ways; consisting of waking up, work and sleep. It begins to shadow me like a building storm, thundering and heading towards the city, engulfing each light in its wake making them dim out. There is no more laughter, there is no more music...there is no more coffee.

My stare shifts and focuses on the reflection in the windows; gazing at a man that I thought had chances. Gazing at the man that is me, a man who I thought could be more, but my eyes were met with a worthless fuck up wearing acceptable work attire but with poor personal care. Faint stubble started to cover the space along my jaw and the bags beneath my eyes have become more prominent by my lack of sleep of late night outs of smoking cigarettes and drinking numerous alcoholic drinks.

Styles stop this brooding. She is light, you are dark. Things are better this way, she won't get hurt by him.

You don't deserve her you fucked up prick! You hurt her more than anyone!

My body is tired, tired by not having any sleep but also by life, and for a few seconds I contemplate what would happen if I just crashed myself out of this window. Maybe that would be a proper apology for all of the lives I have taken, and for the one that was taken from me.

Why do I get the chance to live when they didn't? What makes me so God damn special that I am still fucking here? I mean it's not like I have much to live for.

My phone vibrates and rings against my desk, distracting me from my dark thoughts, but now I can't say they are dark because they have always been that way. Ryder just kept them at bay.

Styles, get a damn grip already!

I sigh while rolling my eyes and answer the phone, bringing it to my ear.

"Hello?" I reply, my voice vacant as my other hand fumbles with my car keys in my pocket.

"Hey Harry!" Louis cheers through the phone, increasing the headache that I already have. "Are we still on tonight?"

Say yes, Harry. Or else all of the time you have wasted in showing them you are 'okay' will be for nothing.

"You know it." I nod, trying to adjust my voice and make it sound convincing. "I'm up for another drink and shag."

Bile rises in my throat recalling the memory. I can't believe I did that, but I have to move on.

"Alright. Well we will meet up at the usual place at nine okay?"

"No problem."

"Oh and Harry?" Louis says right when I was about to hang up.

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad the old Harry is back." He says before cutting off the conversation.

Funny if only he knew the old Harry was never me at all.

Sighing, I ignore my thoughts. It's best that I should move on, it's better for her. She can find someone better, someone like Gavin.

Shit, is she with Gavin?

I frown and find myself typing out a text to her but I barely manage to type out the word 'hello' before I delete it and place my phone away, erasing any further temptation.