Male reader x missy (editing cos I'm dumb:))

Guilt

"Oh no"

"Huh?" You asked getting up feeling a massive wave of fogginess. The symptom of a hangover.

You sat up to a guilt ridden Yaz who clutched the blanket around her chest.

"We didn't? Right?" You asked looking at your situation feeling a lot of emotions at once; pain, hunger, embarrassment and guilt.

"I think we did" she sighed placing her head in her hands. "Oh god" she sighed.

You shoot up rushing around for your clothes. You couldn't believe you would do something so reckless with a friend.

"I'm sorry, Yaz" you apologised.

"Me too, could you just leave please?" She asked sweetly still not being able to look at you.

"Yeah sure thing" you said pulling your clothes onto your body and leaving her room in shame.

"Hey y/n!" You jumped around.

"Ryan what the hell, you nearly gave me a heart attack" you yelled clutching your chest.

"What were you doing with Yaz" he smirked. Oh shit he knew.

"Rya-"

"Don't worry about it. Secret safe with me." He started to walk of before stopping and turning back to look at you. "It's just you really don't want missy and the doctor to find out" he said in all seriousness.

"Oh crap!" You shouted rushing back to your room to tidy up. You slammed the door behind you feeling a bit angry at yourself for last night. Why the hell would you do that, you had no feelings for Yaz and that just made it worse as you thought about missy. God missy what the hell would she think.

"Fucking hell!" You yelled ripping out your clothes and jumping into the shower, rubbing of all the guilt. You could feel the burning like your skin had been peeled of but your reminded yourself that you deserved this for what you had done.

You felt at least cleaner after your shower but the guilt kept rising. You threw on some clean clothes that consisted of a plan white tee and of course black Jeans.

There was a soft knock on the door before the doctor wondered in. "Y/n we need to talk"

"Oh crap you know too" you groaned.

"Yeah and I'm sorry" she whispered.

"Wait what?"

"You know of the room. You left traces of your blood" you instantly looked up feeling a bit of relief flood over you. You fiddled with your finger that you pricked in the room, the traces of blood was gone and there was no scarring left.

"Yeah the room" you spoke hiding your shame.

"It's just to keep everyone safe including you. I'm working out everything and that means about this nightmare child business, so anything you can remember?" She asks sitting down on the bed.

"Well I guess I get dreams about it, you know eye patch woman" you started.

"Madame Kovarian" she butted in causing you to roll your eyes.

"Yeah her and Davros, I think she called him. We met him before you know when we were with Clara" you frowned at the memories of Clara just another one lost on the adventures. The doctor was back on her feet pacing the room and sighing extremely hard.

"What's wrong?"

"You really are the nightmare child" she whispered her back turned to you.

"And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" You asked feeling angry that everyone was hiding things from you.

"It's nothing" she whispered closing her eyes like she was thinking really hard on how to break it to you.

"Well I know that's bullshit!" You exclaimed

"Y/n language" she muttered finally opening her eyes.

"No, you tell me now! What the FUCK IM I?" You screamed.

"The perfect dalek"

You scoffed not believing her words. "I think I would know if I was a dalek."

"I don't know. Your readings go all over the place." She spoke taking your hand and sitting you down on the bed. "Whatever they did to you were sort it out okay?"

"Yeah. Ok" you sighed.

"Anyway I made breakfast, everyone's down there" she explained changing her tone dramatically.

"Yeah sure" you replied feelings your stomach rumbling. You both got up in silence, you followed her out of the room.

But when you reached the kitchen you started to think maybe it wasn't such a good idea. Yaz sat there with an sadden look whilst missy you watched you in curiosity. Ryan however sniggered when you entered flickering his gaze between you and Yaz.

"Ow" Ryan said as Yaz elbowed him on the arm causing you to hold your breath.

The doctor pulled a chair out for you as you just stood awkwardly in the door frame. "Sit" she whispered. You obeyed sitting right between Yaz and missy. Oh great you thought.

"So any plans today, doc?" Graham asked missing all the tension in the room.

"Any suggestions gang?" The doctor asks looking over to you all. You and Yaz both had your eyes firmly glued to the table.

Ryan let out a chuckle causing everyone to look at you and Yaz.

"Am I missing something? Yaz? Y/n?" The doctor asks in curiosity forcing you to look at her.

"Nope" you exclaimed.

"Seriously what's going on?" Graham asked this time. You just groaned getting up.

"I'm not hungry" you left the room not bringing yourself to look back.

"Y/n, wait up" this caused you to stop dead in your tracks looking back on the one person who made you feel the guiltiest.

"What is it, missy?" You mumbled letting her join you on your walk to the console room.

"Are you okay, love? How was your night?" You looked at her face as she spoke there was no smirk nor sarcasm laced in her tone so you gathered she didn't know but you weren't sure if she would ever speak to you if she did. She was genuinely asking you if you were okay which was rare with missy.

"I'm fine. You?" You spoke opening the doors and plopping yourself down on the tardis floor swinging your legs out into space. The view was perfect; it consisted out clusters of stars with their light streaming into a perfect wave. It was calming better then your hearts that felt heavy and full of guilt. 

"I lov-"