Through Her Eyes ✔

37. CONFESSION

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Refusal of the soul connection can cause severance of soul bounds.

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The sun that had been blazing its might towards them has now cowers behind the gloomy clouds. It had loosen it's energy with the persisting breeze of winter. It's now melancholic, drowning itself with the condensed coldness of its companion.

"We are not just friends Daun-ah. We are more than that." His words are gentle but each one of it are but gibberish to her ears. Its meaning dampened with something she herself is uncertain of. His voice is muffled with someone gasping and sobbing.

She can practically hear the little child crying for mercy. All she can hear are the pathetic pleas of the little her, scratching the door, desperate to go out. It wants to go out and tell the adult her that she had been right, that she had been wrong. The little her wants to tell her that all those years are wasted... that the truth is actually in front of her.

She doesn't need any psychologist to appease her hurt suspicious and curious soul. She doesn't need anyone to feed her belief. She doesn't need Mrs. Song who has been a mere puppet of her controlling father. Yes. She knows what and who she really is. She is not dumb, but she allowed her to tell her all those things. At first, the consultations were just conversations needed from her lonely self, seeking for someone to give her advice. After all, she could not tell everything to Hannah. She had first confided with Mrs. Song as a pretense, but the woman is indeed so good to her profession that Daun had found it difficult to differ the truth and lies. She found the therapist convincing her to succumb on easier way to tackle her problems. The woman had become a convenience that is hard not to embrace.

"We are soulmates Daun-ah." Traces of anger have long been gone in his voice. It's angelic just like those in his songs. It's soothing. It's calming. It's persuading the child within her to pick herself up, to stand, and to hold his hands and set herself free from her ridiculous twisted self.

"You're just my friends." Daun whispers. Her voice is so weak, so tired to oppose but still refuses to believe. Change is after all so frightening. It could crumple her whole world. It could cripple both her legs which had been continuously blocking the prison cell of her making. She had made it strong for so many years. It's hard to blast it out just because of this revelation.

"Then what are we then? What am I then? Hmmnn?" He gently cups her cheeks, wiping away the tears flowing endlessly on her cheeks. "Tell me." He sadly asks.

The words she whispers are like arrows to his heart. He wants to lash out but the look in her eyes is more concerning than the bleeding of his soul. Her glistened brown eyes bare something that is akin to fear, guilt, regret, and so much sorrow. It scares him.

"You don't have proof." She continues.

"Look Daun-ah." He shows his arms. Though it has several doodles almost taking up his entire right arm, but the golden Tiger Lilly protrudes more. "It's pulsing with your touch." True to his words, the soul ink beats and comes alive as he guides her fingers along its curves and lines. The soul blood visibly pumping it up, running through its vein like ink. The lightest caress on his skin sends sizzling warmth towards his whole being. "You know what this means right? Soul bounds glows with the soul blood. It glitters gold with the soulmate's touch."

As if disgusted, her fingers whisk away from his hold. "You are wrong." He must be making this up, a magic trick. That's it. There is no other explanation.

"No Daun-ah. This is real." He states as if reading the questions swirling in her mind. "Do you know how we yearn for you? Do you know how bad I want to tell you even before we found you? Do you know how much I want to kiss you every time I am near you? Claim you mine?" He confesses. Damn with all the promises that he made with his hyungs. Damn with the long wait.

Jungkook had laid out the truth. It's better to let her understand how they had waited so long for her. She has to know the struggles that they've been through. She has to know.

"You're crazy." She bravely comments. What else she could say to stay sane. What else? She has nothing more to rebuttal. The mulish her grasping to stay afloat.

"I am not. I can't believe this." The latter statement was murmured incredulously. "You can call everyone. Ask them. Go on. Ask them." He voices in surrender. "Hyungs... All of them has the same soul inks in their bodies. All-"

"But I don't!" His statements are cut off with the shrill loudness of her voice.

He stiffens.

"How can you tell me that you are all my soulmates with all of you having soul inks but not me." She cries. "I don't have those... you are just making this up." She hiccups.

She feels the hardness of his chest as he enclosed her in his arms. His embrace tight as if squeezing the reality out from her petite form. His hands gently caressing his arms.

He sighs.

"Are we not enough proof? Aren't the signs that we have seen and experienced with you enough to convince you? The soul dreams that you have...aren't they enough proof of our connection?" He soothes as he caresses her back. Hands occasionally brushing the dark brown curls. "Maybe yes, you need help... no... we need help. All of us." He whispers. "We need soul doctors to explain why our bounds are messy like this. Why we can perfectly determine you as our soulmate even with just your fragrance while you can't. We..."

Her eyes widen with the mention of soul doctors. Her thoughts dangerously trudging to the ugly memory of her past. She pushes him away.

"I don't think we can be friends Jungkook."

He stills. A huge boulder just metaphorically drops on him, making him immobile. His heart clenched with so much tightness that he unconsciously gasps to breathe. He holds his chest, fisting on it, confused how those words hurt so much more than the times she had deemed them friends.

"Why can't you just accept the fact?" He peeks over her furrowed brows. Her hands, brushing away the wetness of her cheeks. Her orbs unyielding. Her face can't devoid with emotion. "Fine!" He surrenders and walks away.

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Minutes had passed. He had kicked his frustrations away. With so much spent energy, he feels so helpless. His heart weary and a bit hallow. He feels so much confused.

Why can't she accept it? Everything is so obvious. Why take it as what it is? Why deny everything?

He had walked away not wanting to frustrate them both more. He is no way tired on telling her their connection.

Maybe she needs more time.

His Yoongi-hyung had suggested to give time to her. He agreed on it, considering how his soul bound reacted with their first skin contact. There was no effect on her, while her presence alone had overwhelmed him. It made him hesitate and decided to stall time. If there was no schedule on that time, maybe, he had told her their connection.

Is this why his hyungs had made him promise not to tell her? Does his Yoongi-hyung knows how difficult it would be to convince her? Does Namjoon-hyung knows too?

Time has been passing by and no Daun had followed him back to the car. He can't expect the date to commence with how both of them acted but still...

He goes back to the path he had walked, back to park he had left her, hoping she is still there waiting for him.

He surveys the surroundings when he notices something, rather someone that makes him freeze. His mind refusing to register what he is seeing.

"Daun-ah!"

He shouted, adrenaline shooting up on his veins.