Sight And Sorries

Chapter One

       Adira      

Dabbing concealer under my eyes I try and cover up the fact that I tossed and turned all night. Not that it's going to matter, dad knows, he heard. Wolf hearing doesn't allow for privacy, not when we have thin walls. Just like I heard him pacing in front of my door. He always does when I have a hard time sleeping. He used to come in and rub my back when I was younger. Now he waits outside the door unless I call for him. I feel bad he has to deal with my nightmares. As hard as it is on me, it must be hard on him too.

I've had them for as long as I remember. Dreams of me getting taken. I can hear screaming so loud it rings my ears. Then when I wake my wolf Tala howls so loud it gives me headaches. I'm not sure why I get the dreams, they're just something I've always dealt with. 

Tala doesn't talk to me. Sometimes I don't think she ever will. However, words don't stop her from showing me how she feels. She does everything to the extreme. She's the complete opposite of me. I ask the Moon Goddess all the time why she paired me with Tala. I've yet to get an answer.

Tala is loud and opinionated, she won't go unheard. I'm quiet and more interested in just getting by. I'd rather keep my head down. I'm not the kind of person who likes making things hard for people. Tala would rather I shouted and screamed everytime someone did something wrong to us or others. She would be in overjoyed if I yelled from the roof tops about injustice. The only thing we have in common is the feeling of heartbreak everytime we hear that woman cry in our dreams.

Instead I block Tala out and swallow down the sorrow. Sometimes I'm even able to feel okay. A couple times I was happy even. It's been awhile since I felt anything other than pain though.

Fortunately it's my eighteenth birthday next week. I'm hoping that breaks the cycle. Dad always does something spectacular. He goes overboard every year. Trips around the world. Concerts with backstage passes to my favorite bands. Disneyland when I was a kid.

The corner of my mouth pulls up as I think about all the things we have done together. He's such a great dad. He deserves so much more than me as a daughter. I wish he would find someone.

Picking up a makeup brush I tap the end on my desk. Over and over as my anxiety takes hold of me.

Once I turn eighteen I'll be able to find my mate. Dad will be alone if I do, it's the law here. We joined this pack a couple years ago, and they've made it clear once I find my mate I have to move in with them. I'm not ready for that step. I'm not ready for any of it. Mating with someone's a big deal. Here it's mandatory to mate and breed the first heat. The pack members who aren't able to bear children have to leave. If I'm not able to dad will have to leave too. My mate, my dad and I would become packless. We'd be considered rogues.

If my dad could read my mind he'd know what I really want for my birthday is to leave. This isn't our first pack. We've been in five, atleast that I can remember. We could find another. Or we could just live among the humans. Dad says they're dangerous, the amount of werewolf hunters has grown a lot in the past few years. So I guess it really isn't an option any more.

Sighing, I open up the top drawer of my desk. Pulling out powders, liners and mascara. I take a deep breath and slowly let it out. There's nothing I can do about it. There's no point in letting it get to me. If I do find my mate I'll have to follow the rules. Crying about it won't change that.

I apply my makeup quickly. Smelling bacon and eggs cooking downstairs. A little blush on my cheeks, I apply a sharp winged liner then put on my mascara. Raking my fingers through my black hair I pull it up high. Taking the elastic on my wrist and putting my hair into a messy ponytail. Even without straightening my curls and putting it up it still reaches my lower back. When I have it down its well past my behind. I've considered cutting it a few times but dad says he likes it long. It reminds him of my mother. He doesn't talk much about her, but when he does I can see guilt in his eyes. I'm not sure what happened to her. The look in his face keeps me from asking questions. He'd tell me when he's ready. For now I keep it curly and long. Having long hair is a small price to pay for my father's happiness.