Chapter 44 - Take you home

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Y/N'S POV

I hear the doorway open, i flush the toilet quickly and clean everything up.
"Hey Boo i'm home" fuck i have to move.
I spray some deodorant and after setting myself in front of the mirror i leave the bathroom pretending that nothing has happened.
"Oh here you are-"
"What?" i ask to her confused and her face is painted with sadness.
"Y/n... don't tell me what-what were you doing in the bathroom?" she looks so disappointed in me
"I uhm nothing-uhm i-" now i don't even know how to lie anymore
"Y/n please..." she sighs, i know she's understand.
"I'm fine Cas, really, i'm fine- it's totally fine it's just-i-i-" i burst into tears in front of her desperately, sobbing and throwing out all that pain inside.
"Come here" she hugs me tightly and i dive into what little love i've left, she's the only person i've left.
"I miss her Cas, i miss her so fucking much" i hate her so much for what she did to me but at the same time i love her.
I want her away from me but in the meantime i want her arms around me, her voice, her perfume.
It was all so real to me, all so beautiful, then i woke up from that dream realizing that reality was a nightmare.
"I hate arguing with her, she deserved everything i told her but god her face, you had to see her Cas, she looked so regretful that for a moment i thought I'd fuck it all up and hug her, it was hard to fight that temptation and walk away before i fall into the same mistake"
"Hey sweetie look at me" Cassie rests her index finger under my chin so that i can lift my head and look at her and with her thumb she wipes the tears that constantly slide down my cheeks.
"You have to go on okay? You can't let a person decide how to live your life, you can't cry on yourself for a person who never deserved you.
You're so strong my dear friend, and you'll overcome this too and i'm here, with you.
I'll never leave you alone" she's right, i don't have to think about her anymore, there's no point to crying for a person who didn't want me.
I have Cassie and Hailee and my sister too and that's enough for me.
Lizzie has to disappear from my life or as much as possible she has to become indifferent to me.

I detach myself from the embrace drying my tears while Cassie fixes my hair.
"I need to distract myself Cas" i say, it's the first step to try to forget her.
"Okay Boo, what do you want to do?" she asks me
"I want to go to a party" i say firmly
"A party? But you don't like parties"
"Maybe the old y/n, but i want to be a new y/n that won't allow anyone to be manipulated anymore and this y/n likes parties"
The old y/n is dead.
"Are you sure-"
"Cas yeah i'm sure now take me to a party"
"Okay..." she accepts even if obviously worried.

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I see her everywhere, every person reminds me of her, no she can't be here, right?
She draws me to her, wraps her arms around my neck.
I look at her so confused but damn she's so gorgeous.
But is it her?
"You are so beautiful" she whispers in my ear.
I kiss her, passionately and she doesn't refuse me this time.
Is a dream?
Yet it feels so real, i touch her and her body is so alive in my hands.

We dance, all muffle around me, only she exists, only her lips on mine.
Then i feel someone pull me from my jacket and drag me with them.
What the fuck?
"Hey what are you doing?!" i yell at the person who's pulling me.

I move away my body, then i turn around and get even more confused.
"Elizabeth?"

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LIZZIE'S POV

"Why don't you come here for a while? It will do you good to get distracted a little"
"No MK i've to stay here, for her. I've to fight for the two of us"
"I understand, well if you need you know you can count on me" says my sister on the other side of the screen.
It's night, i've lost track of time.
I think it's been hours since Robbie left and i feel so alone, not because i don't have him, but because i miss y/n terribly.
"Am i a bad person sis?" i ask in a shaky, tired voice
"No Lizzie, you aren't a bad person.
I mean it's a difficult situation and you've had to make choices and now you're trying to make up for it, so not giving up."
"But i hurt her MK, you should see her, she's disappearing under my gaze. What i fucking did to her was horrible" i burst into tears, again, it seems the only good thing i can do now.
"But at least now you understand that you love her, haven't you? That's the important thing Lizzie, love. Yeah it took time but you finally understood it and now you're taking your steps to fix everything, you had the courage to talk to Robbie and i'm proud you did, really "
"I want her back in my life" is the only thing i really want
"You'll make it, but promise me that you won't hurt each other anymore, you're my life Lizzie and i admit that i love that girl too" says MK and i smile, because actually it's impossible not to love y/n, she's a ray of sunshine, my ray of sunshine.
"I promise sis" i don't want to hurt her anymore
"Perfect...so...you like girls huh?" she teases me
"Shuuut up" i say embarrassed and hiding my face on the pillow but with a smile on my face.
"No but seriously Liz, i'm so happy for you, finally this is the real Lizzie, without secrets. We'll love you for who you are little sis, you'll always be accepted by us, i promise" i smile to her, i'm so lucky to have such a supportive family and i was so stupid that i never told them about it before.
"She's different MK" i admit
"I know, i understood it from the first moment you introduced me to her, so don't waste anymore time and go get her back" she says and i nod
"I can't wait to see you two as a happy couple at Christmas" she says and we both laugh.

TEACH ME PROFESSOR  [Elizabeth Olsen]Where stories live. Discover now