TEACH ME PROFESSOR [Elizabeth Olsen]

Chapter 48 - Surrounded by love

LIZZIE'S POV

Days go by but she doesn't wake up.
Every day, after finishing lessons, i visit her and i can say that now i understand perfectly what it feels like to see time go by but to see the person you love standing there, unchanged in time.
I miss her so much, i would like to go back to laughing with her, talking to her even if actually i talk to her a lot, i tell her everything, but i never get an answer from her, not even a sigh.
Will she ever wake up?
I believe it but it's so hard.

Everyone who works on this floor knows me now and maybe yes, it could be dangerous for me but i don't care, i just want to be with her.
I asked Emma if their father had visited Y/n these days but she said no, he almost certainly knows that her daughter is in this hospital but he doesn't care.
How can you not care that your daughter is literally fighting between life and death?
How he can be so cruel?

Now i understand why y/n didn't want to go to the hospital, even that night when she had a fever when we first met.
Knowing that her mother is here, that her father is here and then she always knew that if she ever ended up in the hospital doctors would find out about her food problem.
Life is so unfair to those who don't deserve it.

I go to the bathroom first to freshen up and above all to do my make-up where Robbie has left his mark.
Yes, the night i broke with him he decided to squeeze my neck so tightly that he left bruises and redness around my neck.
I can't let anyone notice so i cover it all up with makeup.
I look in the mirror and god i have never looked so awful, i look so tired.
Come on Lizzie, be patient for her, i say to myself.

I walk greeting the nurses and head to her room, as i do every day.
"Good morning babe" i give her a kiss on the head and as always, no reaction from her.
That's okay, i think, it could have been worse.
"I missed you so much in class today, it's not the same without you, i don't know who to look at when i need to cheer myself up. You know, i count the minutes to get away from there and run here to you"
Nothing
No reaction
"Today has been a pretty quiet day even though Coach Walker continues to annoy me, i'm starting to hate the man. If you were there, i already know you would have reacted" i smile wistfully
"Scarlett couldn't come today, she had to go to Rosie's school but she told me to say hi and that she misses you so much and hi too Ash and MK oh and my mom of course.
We are all here for you, we are waiting for you my love"

I look at the tube attached to her bony arm, i never thought i could have reduced a person in these conditions, especially her, the love of my life.

"All i do is look at you and think of the apology you deserve from me. I'm so sorry babe, i made you feel guilty so many times, even if it wasn't your fault and you were always there apologizing because you didn't want to lose me, because you loved me and what did i do in the end? i left you anyway, even when you declared yourself to me, when you opened your heart to me and now you're here, with your eyes closed and you don't move. I was scared and i let myself be influenced by it, maybe i was scared because when something makes you too happy, if it disappears, you disappear a little too.
And look at us now, for heeding my fear we both ended up disappearing a bit" a tear rolls down my face ending up falling on her hand which i gently take and caress.

"I don't know if and when you will wake up, but i hope that when it happens you'll can forgive me for all the harm i've done to you and we can start this life together again. Maybe we needed to distance ourselves to realize how much we need to be together.
We don't have to fix what is now lost, but we can start over and create something better"

I have hope for us, i believe that everything will work out, we just need time, right?

"Uh i almost forgot, i brought someone here to keep you company" i say taking the teddy bear she'd won for me that day... yeah that day, probably the best day of my life but which i decided to ruin with my stupid insecurity .
"He won't bother you like i do but at least he'll be here with you, so when i'm not here you'll have something that can remind you of me" i put him next to her and i smile because despite everything, despite the conditions she's in, she's the most beautiful and cutest person i have ever met in my life and god i'm so lucky to have her.