Uncharted Territory: The Fears of Starting Fresh

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Hi Readers: Hope you guys liked the last chapter that I wrote for you guys, and what it means for the story. Now, I most certainly am not done with this storyline that I am starting; and that's due to the fact that I need to get it really started, so let's do just that. Here's some more about Jay and Alex, and just how they're feeling in the immediate aftermath of their encounter with Hank.
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Halstead Primary Suite – They only did the basics when they came here, and when they've been here. Heck, they've mostly been concentrating on getting their children settled, rather than taking the time they need to unpack their room; but now that Michael and Olivia are taking their morning nap, it was going to give Jay and Alex time to do something else; and that would be to go through all the bags that they've been living in since they learned that they were moving home, not that they were opposed to the idea. The truth is, Jay has missed spending time with Adam and Atwater; and Alex has missed spending time with Kim and Hailey, mostly Kim though. She still feels like Hailey has feelings for her husband, which is another reason that she's not ready to go back; that, and she just doesn't feel confident enough yet. And let me explain that. It's not that she doesn't feel like she can do it, as she knows she can.

She knows that she can do the job better than anybody there, with her experience at the FBI; both here at the Chicago field office, and then at the New York City field office while she was there in the aftermath of the whole thing with Bunny. But now,, she was home again; and not just with the man she loves, but also with their children Michael and Olivia. And that was something that Alex loved. But there was one thing that she didn't love, and that would be how she was feeling at the moment, which was one of confusion, and pure fear. Fear that she's going to do it again, that she's going to push her husband away; and chose her father over him, like she's done in the past. Because that's what she did when she went to New York City. She chose her father over the man she loves, the man who was going to propose to her on the night she left to go to New York City to save her father. And that's why she needs time.

Because even when she came back, she tried her best to just make it seem like their relationship was okay; for her father's sake, as she didn't want to cause problems for the man she loves. But now, after having seen him; it was all coming back, the anger that she has for Hank...and it's just starting to impact her in ways that she never expected, including when it comes to her emotions. After all, Alex isn't an emotional person; but becoming a mom and having dealt with everything that she's dealt with over the past few years...it's turned her into one, and that was something else that scared her. Because she doesn't recognize herself anymore. Gone is the strong, Alex Lindsay that left Chicago; now, she always seems to feel much more vulnerable and adept to manipulation. But not by her husband, as he's actually the one that protects her from being manipulated; manipulated by the man who always hated them being together.

Her father.

She never understood why her father never liked Jay. He's an army veteran, he's always protected her, and he's always treated him with the utmost respect. But now, things have just changed ever since she returned to Chicago from New York City; and it was really just starting to be obvious to her, now that she was no longer in that haze of hormones that came with being pregnant with the twins. She had a clear mind to go through everything that happened since the last time she was in Chicago full-time, before she had to leave to go to New York City; and that was frustrating her, as it wasn't what she wanted to do. She didn't want to look backwards, and live in the past; rather, she wanted to look forward and live in the present with her beautiful children. After all, they are the only children that she and her husband will ever have. But still, she can't get all of these other thoughts out of her head; and it was because of him.

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