Me and Ai

Chapter 61: Uncovered Feelings

Chapter 61: Uncovered Feelings

Mikaze-senpai really is good looking. Looking at him with the water from the aquarium reflecting onto him in this dimmed lit space, he looks so wonderful. I think most girls would say something like "This is like a dream" or something like that; I would agree.
Eh? W-what am I thinking to myself? T-that's kind of embarrassing but I really do think that he is actually very cute and that this day is really like a dream. Maybe I was working and fell asleep in the process and perhaps this is what I am dreaming right now. Ugh...it's like I want to wake up and at the same time, I don't want to. Why does love make people so conflicted?!

"Kaori."

"W-what is it, Mikaze-senpai?"

"I'm very sorry."

"S-sorry? For what? I don't think you've done anything; I think."

He stopped walking and looked at me; he took both of my hands.

"I'm really sorry for my behavior during the filming of the drama series; that time when we went to watch you in the studio. I didn't mean to hurt you or ignore you; I just lost my composure for a moment during that day. I was at fault; you did nothing wrong at all. I also apologize for avoiding you for the days that came after...I was just...ashamed of my actions; I couldn't face you. I really am sorry."

"...So you weren't mad at me at all? I didn't do anything to upset you?"

"Not at all; I'm very sorry. I made you upset instead..."

"It's alright, Mikaze-senpai! I-I'm very relieved; all this time I thought I did something to upset you."

I thought you started hating me or something. I was afraid that you wouldn't want to talk to me or see me ever again. I'm so glad that he doesn't dislike me; I'm really really glad.

"I forgive you; I don't know what made you act that way but I'm sure you have your reasons. It may be personal or something that has nothing to do with me at all so it's alright; I understand. Everyone goes thru something."

"..."

I can feel his grip getting tighter and he sighs.

"I'm relieved as well that you've forgiven me; you're really too kind to people, Kaori. I thought that you'd resent me for my foolish actions."

"I don't think I could ever resent you, Mikaze-senpai."

He looks at me for a moment; he looks a bit surprised. I really can't resent him though; how could I resent a person that hasn't done anything wrong to me and a person that I like so much?

"M-Mikaze-senpai, you can let go of my hands already; you've been holding them for a while now and they certainly don't feel cold anymore."

"Okay...I'm glad they're not cold anymore."

"Yeah..."

Actually, I wish that my hands could stay colder for a while longer so that I'd have an excuse to continue holding his hand but I know that I can't and shouldn't do that...The thought alone hurts a little.

He seemed hesitant but releases my hands anyway and slowly I could feel my hands losing his warmth; I started feeling sad inside.

I can't...I really can't take it anymore.

He was starting to walk forward when I suddenly grabbed his hand; he got surprised.

"Kaori...?"

I can't keep it inside any longer.

"Mikaze-senpai, I think you're really really talented; I really love your voice and your music."

Maybe he'll end up resenting me for what I'm about to tell him. Maybe he'll start avoiding me all over again.