Pickup ˚ ✞ . Andy Biersack

11

     Krystal threw a plastic fork at me, to grab my attention. I blanked out staring at her like some weirdo. "Will you stop," she said.

   "Stop what?" I asked quickly.

   "Scout's upset for a reason, you look at me too much," she told me. I had no words as I ate a spoonful of my beans and rice. "Are you attracted to me?"

   I swallowed, thinking of what to say. "Are you attracted to me?"

   "You can't ask me my question," she glared. "Then they cancel eachother out."

   I smiled, that being my reason, "why does it matter? Even if we are attracted to eachother we have no intention of doing anything."

   "But, its the mere fact that being attra- I mean, theoretically attracted to eachother that causes problems."

   "But, we theoretically wouldn't do anything," I responded, "so, I was wondering, did you and Ashley sleep with eachother?"

   Krystal chuckled, she shook her head, and took a gulp of her beer. She looked back down at her food, while I scarfed down mine. We had a couple more beers, Krystal easily got tipsy.

    "So do you have any more rules?" I asked her, thinking of her music rules.

   "Well, this one probably guessable, but never cheat and never be the side hoe," I said, "we know I hate cheaters."

   "Its been mentioned alot."

   She laughed, "shit," she paused for a moment, "I hate liars."

   "Why do you hate people like that?" It seemed like an obvious question.

   "You're going to have to get me more drunk for me to tell you that."

   I sighed, "Ok why'd you come to L.A.?"

   "Its far away," she said.

   "Why do you need to be far away?"

   She slid out of the booth and stood up. "You're asking to many questions.

   I shrugged, getting up too, "There's alot of questions to ask about you."

   We threw away our trash and left the small restaurant. "Can I ask you questions then?" I nodded in response. "Why are you still with her? I don't understand it. It doesn't seem like you love her as much as you claim."

   I wasn't prepared to answer that, much as I wasn't to answer the child in the hallway. "I... I used to love her so much... I just. I'm trying to fix us, but I'm failing at the same time."

   She looked at me for a moment. "I shouldn't say it."

   "Say what?" I asked, Krystal shook her head. "Tell me," I shook her shoulder. She didn't give in, even with all my begging.

   "But, Andy," she said changing the subject. "Why are you with me instead of her?"

   I looked at my feet. Why am I? "Because I'm angry with her, and I rather be around someone who doesn't make me angry," I said "And some how you don't make me angry, you just frustrated me with your weird shit."

   "And you're not weird?" She raised her eyebrow, "You're in an emo band."

   I cut my eyes at her, but she just smirked and continued to walk. We were silent until we went back to my car.

   As I pulled up to Ava's apartment complex, Krystal turned to me. "is she wondering where you are?"

   "Maybe," I shrugged.

   "Are you wondering what she's doing?"

   I really didn't think as I answered. "Nope."

   She stared at me for a second as I pulled up to the apartment. "Are you okay?" I hadn't really thought about my emotions either.

   "A bit better but for the most part not really," I answered freely. She placed her hand ontop of mine. It was in a friendly way, but I longed for it to be more than what it was.

   "Sort your self out, especially your emotions," she told me, looking up to my eyes. I nodded as Krystal spoke again "Thank you, have a goodnight," she said, I smiled at her as she got out the car.

   As I watched her dissappear into the second door I felt a large amount of sadness consume me. I was alone again. I'd been used to it as a kid. But the thought of it now, the type of loneliness im feeling is unbearalbe. The type where I can't make things work with my girlfriend, or being unable connect with almost all of my friends, and only being able to connect with one person who, when she leaves its like she disappears and then I'm all alone in a car. I don't think I've ever in my life pulled over on my way home and just called my mom at one in the morning.

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I relate to andy too much atm fuck