Pickup ˚ ✞ . Andy Biersack

77

Andy

"Last concert for the tour huh?" Krystal said as I came off stage, I was sweaty and my adrenaline was pumping. I nodded and kissed her, my Anxiety started to raise as I remembered what I had to tell her within the next few hours. I felt her baby bump against me as I had her in my arms.

"Aren't you sweating?" I asked her, she was wearing a hoodie and thick sweats.

"Not as much as you," she chuckled. She looked so happy, a lovely smile on her sweet face. God I'm going to fuck this up so bad. I tried to put all the anxiety into preforming but I just couldn't. We hung out back stage watching the other bands. Krystal recently had taken a liking to A7X, she was happy to meet the members.

Krystal was conversing with Johnny Christ, I had a small smile on my face watching her happy. They were talking about guitars or something.

Everyone was having a good time, I was depressed in a corner, even at the end of tour party. I tried my best to socialize, but I just wasnt feeling it.

Krystal came next to me, holding my hand. "Are you alright?" She asked. I wanted to answer honestly but I didn't want to ruin the moment.

"Peachy," I said with a smile, pecking her lips. She smiled, hugging me. We ended up back at the bus driving to a hotel, we had a flight back home at three P.M.. it was two A.M. now.

I took a quick shower as soon as we got in, the refreshed feeling helped a small bit. I dried my hair out with a towel and pulled on my boxers. I put on a Tee and sweats because the hotel was a little chilly.

Krystal looked at me with a smile as I came out the bathroom. I've gotta tell her.

"Baby," I said, catching her attention, I sat on the bed next to her.

She was smiling until she saw the look on my face, "what's wrong."

I took her hands, "I'm going to be straight up, I need some help," I told her, she furrowed her eyebrows as I continued, "I want- I want to be a good father, and a good boyfriend, Krystal I love you and our kid so fucking much."

She chewed her lip, she knew what I was talking about. "You relapsed again didn't you?"

I nodded, "I thought I could just stop, I was wrong."

"When?"

I swallowed nervously, "Early last month, mid tour and a right before you came."

She looked shattered, I can't believe I fucking did this. "Why- why didn't you tell me," her voice was shakey.

"I thought I could make it go away," I admitted, "but I fucking can't-"

"That night," she cut me off, "before my birthday, the first, you smelled weird what did you do?"

I didn't want to answer, I felt so fucking guilty. "Krystal-"

"I asked a question," she said, her voice hard.

I felt like a crackhead saying it, maybe I am, "I'd been smoking it."

I expected her to yell at me, and curse at me for lying to her. Instead she choked out a few words, teary eyed, "You came home and you lied to me?" She asked, "we're you ever gonna tell me?" her voice had raised, she was really upset.

I shook my head, "Not at first, but I ended up bingeing a few nights and Ashley intervened-"

She took my hand, making me stop talking, "I love you, Andy," she told me, I was afraid of where this was going. "Do you really wanna get help?"

I nodded, mumbling a soft yes.

"I can't do this if you won't try," she told me, "I know how hard it is, Andy, I've been here, you have to try."

"What do you mean you've been here?" I asked. She looked down, a sad smile on her face.

"I had a xanax addiction," she admitted, "almost overdosed a few times. I was 16, carried on until I was 19. I was seeing signs in you Andy, I wanted to help but I- I couldn't-"

I held her hands, "I never knew that," I mumbled.

"I know," she said in a small voice.

"I'm going to try, I can do it," I told her, "when we get back home I'll look into out of patient."

"Isn't that less efficient?"

"I don't know," I said, "but I want to be with you through this. I don't know how long I'd end up in a inpatient."

"Andy that doesn't matter to me, your health does-"

"And our baby, and you, means something to me, I don't wanna find out if they're a girl or a guy in rehab, I wanna be there, at the appointments, picking out baby shit and all that."

She nodded, I cupped her face wiping away the tears. I pulled her into my arms. How she could still put up with this, I had no clue. She buried her face in my shirt.

"I couldn't help you," she mumbled.

"Shh, it's not your fault."

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