Pickup ˚ ✞ . Andy Biersack

75

Andy

I felt bad having to leave for tour, but now Krystal was 12 weeks pregnant. We told my parents that night, they were as surprised as us. They were supportive but also concerned about how young we were.

"I'm sorry I won't be here," I told her, twirling her hair around my finger.

"Andy it's only three weeks," she reasoned, "and you're flying me down for the end of it anyway, because you're needy as hell."

I smiled a little, "I love you," I said, kissing her, we were in the airport, boarding for my flight was being called. The guys had already filed into the plane, I stayed out here with Krystal.

"I love you too," she said, I kissed her on the forehead and cheek. I crouched down touching her stomach, this all surprisingly made everything alot better. I wasn't going to fuck up again. "Andy!" She whispered harshly.

"I'm just saying bye," I said narrowing my eyes at her.

"He can't hear you dumbass," she snickered.

I looked up at her raising an eyebrow. "He? You're only 12-"

"Its just a feeling," she shrugged, I smiled, i kissed her again as my flight called for boarding the last time.

"I love you so, so, so much," I said kissing her a few times, "Make sure to take your vitamins, don't smoke or drink-"

"I know what to do," she chuckled. "Now go, I love you."

I glanced back as I walked away, she's everything to me.

She had a sad smile on her face, she was wearing my hoodie which hid her small bump. It wasn't enough to show but she probably would soon. I still had to tell the guys.

-----

I some how fell in the hole again, I spent the last three days drunk and high, I was good for a week into it but by the end of that I let go. I bumped some coke from danny, hiding to make sure no one else saw or knew. If I hadn't fucking seen him I wouldn't have thought about it.

I used the things that I thought kept me happy but I just found ways to worry about it. Falling Krystal, being a shit father, fucking up my career. I needed an escape but I turned to the wrong one.

I had binged for three days, after an almost slip up last night with Krystal on the phone I needed to stop. I was laying there falling into a depression hole at 4 in the morning. I wanted to call Krystal, I wanted to tell her.

It was just a slip up, you're not doing it again.

I didn't have to tell her. I wasn't doing it again. I only slipped up twice, and she doesn't know of the last one earlier this month.

I was restless in my bed the whole night, I just wanted more, or I wanted Krystal.

Maybe I should get her to come down sooner.

I was about to call her but it's 4 A.M.. I groaned, burying my face in the pillow.

I tried to take it day by day but it felt impossible. Krystal couldn't come sooner, she had work. I'd have to wait to see her for a couple more days. I relapsed again in those couple days before Krystal came.

CC picked up on me, he started to freak out on me. I could care less at that point, but it was when I was coming down did the situation really hit.

I started to hyperventilate seeing how much I fucked up. God I really, really fucked up.

"You've got to tell her," CC told me.

"No," I shook my head, "No I'm- I'm clean it was just a slip up."

"Andy I can't let you do this-"

"I can fucking do what I want CC," I snapped at him.

"You better calm the fuck down, I'm not the one whose been lying to my friends and girl friend when all they're doing is trying to help!"

"I'm not doing this," I said, the bus parked. We were at the hotel, we had two days off until the next concert on the seventh. "She's gonna be here tomorrow, you better not fucking say a word."

"You've got one more chance," he said, "you do this again, I'll fucking tell her as soon as I see it."

I've never had CC so upset with me before or in general. I just got up, grabbing my things and left the bus. I checked into the hotel, the emptiness I was feeling was so fucking horrible. I took a shower trying to relax my self. I started thinking back to a few years ago when I was in an anti drug commercial. I snorted, the irony.

The water felt good but didn't do much. I ended up in my boxers and Tee, under the hotel covers with wet hair.

I woke up at 12 in the afternoon to knocking. It had to be Krystal, something to give me some hope. I shuffled over to the door and there she was, in my giant hoodie, hair in a bun, and glowing. I smiled, I felt at ease, I grabbed her kissing her. She laughed.

"Your breath is terrible," she said, I rolled my eyes kissing her again.

"I missed you," I told her.

"I missed you too, Andy," she said, in all honesty I was feeling like shit, hungover with a headache, but she made me forget about it. The one thing I couldnt wave was the guilt in my chest.

I looked down, with the hoodie pressed up against her I could see a bump. Fuck. I really fucked up this time for both of them.