Pickup ˚ ✞ . Andy Biersack

84

Every night for a month I went to bed in a hospital or with out Krystal in my arms. My parents stayed at a hotel, there wasn't space for them in my apartment but they were there every night. RK stayed with me. We'd formed a sort of bond I guess. I talked to Krystal everyday. She'd made some progress and she was expected to wake up soon. 

i had passed out on our bed knees hanging off, and drunk. I had moved Royal's crib in our room, laid her down and let her sleep while drinking whiskey. 

i came to conciousness a couple hours later when Royal was fussing. While getting up to rock my baby back to sleep i didn't feel real. I stumbled back over to the bed fall ontop of RK. He groaned shoving me an laying ontop of me, he patted his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. he was about to light it, and i stared intently. fuck why'd i quit smoking.

"Ah shit. royal," He said, RK got up stumbling out to the living room, he flipped on the fan as he left. After a moment i got up and followed him, he was sitting on the couch handle. I sat in the seat next to him. he was already smoking. when he had it between his fingers i took it from him taking the first hit in what felt like forever. holy shit.

"i thought you're not smoking andy?" RK giggled drunkenly. 

"im not," I said, taking one more puff. I felt a rush or something, and just impulsivley put the cig out on my stomach.

"holy fuck dude," RK gasped

i felt the sting and winced. And it's like i snapped awake. I was gasping from the sudden burn. I looked down pulling the cig away. what the fuck its been so long since i've felt that.

"I- what the fuck."

"Andy are you fucking crazy dude," He chuckled.

"ow ow ow," I got up running to the kitchen to spray water on it.

"andy that not how you fucking- oh my god." 

RK pulled me to the bathroom and used a first aid kit. "I think this is right," He said putting on some ointment that burnt, while he lit another cigarette. 

"fuck you i groaned," RK sat up and started looking at me weird. "what?" I grumbled.

"can I try something- never mind."

"What, no what?" I questioned him.

"Nevermind andy-"

"no, tell me-" RK grabbed me by my jaw and kissed me, I was in shocked and only registered the cigrette singed a bit of my hair. i groaned maybe in the wrong way because he pushed me back now, hand around my neck. I suddenly pushed him off. "RK- I- Krystal- Royal-"

"uh," He pulled away moving his hand from my neck. I felt a bit violated but not completely in a bad way. "I can kiss my friend goodnight," He said.

"what?" I crinkled my eyebrows.

"You heard me, I'm just kissing my homie goodnight, it's gay if you don't do it!" He said putting his hands up in the air.

i started laughing hysterically, so did he. And then I started crying. 

"Andy-" RK said between laughs, "i'd love to be a comfort right," he said arily, "But can you please leave the bathroom."

i sniffed, still laugh crying. "what?"

"i have to take care of buisness," he pulled a straight face, opening the door for me. I was mildly scared, I'd never seen him serious. he chuckled, closing it behind me. I looked over at Royal, who some how slept through that shit.

for the first time in a while, I'd actually gotten sleep since my mom came at 6 in the morning to take care of royal after i called her panicing because I didn't know how to stop Royal crying. 

I was down until two P.M., when I snapped awake from a dream about Krystal that ended in her gone. I registered where i was and what reality was for a second, arm hanging off of the bed and RK curled up clinging to my legs with a beer hanging at his hand.

I groaned trying to get up, clawing my way out of RK's death grip, leaving me to fall on the floor with my pants half down. I failed and finally was able to get loose and stumble to the bathroom. I washed my face before I realized what's going on. I rushed out of the bathroom realizing I hadn't seen Krystal in nearly 24 hours. I didn't want her to be alone. i picked a shirt up on my way running out to the kitchen, when I passed my mom with Royal.

fuck, royal. god fuck, i'm a terrible fucking dad. I can't wrap my head around anything.

"ma, put Royal in the seat thingy," I said panicky and i shoved vans on and sprinted to get the baby bag. She had royal all buckled in, "Has she eaten?" I asked her. 

My mom nodded, "Andy, where are you going."

"To krystal, It's late," I said, I had to make sure she was okay. I rushed out of there and didn't even realize it until royal started fussing when I buckled her in. I stopped for a second, cupping her small cheek. she made a little gummy smile. i chuckled and kissed her forehead. "I love you baby girl, we're going to see mommy okay?" I told her.

I got in the driver's seat, starting the car and speeding my way to the hospital.