Pickup ˚ ✞ . Andy Biersack

85

Andy

my heart raced Krystal ran around in my dreams again. The past few nights she has been. I'm never sure what to expect but this time she was like flickering memories. It was dark all around and I would scream without being heard.

That was before RK would wake me. 

"hey, wake up," he shook me, "it's your dream, Andy."

I kept my eyes shut knowing what it was but still crying like a pussy. RK hugged me while I curled up into a ball. I felt his body shaking too, small sniffling coming from him.

"I miss her too," he whispered to me.

"what if she never-" I cut myself off unable to say it. I need her back. After a bit, RK got up to use the bathroom.

I glanced at my phone on my dresser. I picked it up, looking at the notifications, missed calls from the hospital. Panic began to rise in me. It was 3 A.M. and the call was an hour ago. "R.K., we need to go to the hospital!" I shouted. I jumped out of the bed and pulled on my T-shirt. Royal was still asleep. I stumbled over to the crib gently scooping her up while R.K. got her baby bag.

"Uh, the milk?" He asked as I swaddled her.

"Pre-bottled formula is in the fridge," I told him, I grabbed my keys and slipped on my shoes as I took her out to the car. The elevator ride down had my mind racing. All I could think about was the bad.

I made it to my car, I tried to buckle her into the car seat as I did every day. My hands were shaking too much to buckle it.

"Fuck!" I shouted, kicking the side of my car in. Royal started to fuss, as I hopped while my other foot was in pain.

"Andy," R.K. said, grabbing me as I nearly toppled over. "Calm down, sit in the back seat with Royal," he told me.

I did as he told me stumbling into the backseat next to my baby. i played with her small hand looking at her. trying to calm down.

"What did the hospital say?" he asked me as he started to drive.

"uh, I don't know," I admitted.

"you don't?"

"no, I missed the call-"

R.K. chuckled, "so you don't know if it's bad," he said to me.

it dawned upon me that he was right, maybe I'm being ridiculous. I was just so paranoid, not having her with me made me feel that way. My codependency is not my best trait, Royal made it easier, but it also made it worse because all I can think about is fucking up.

-----

I couldn't find it in me to talk once we got there, I was too nervous and tired. My baby started to fuss as i adjusted her. "Hey, no baby it's okay," I cooed, "Don't cry Kryst- Royal."

the lump in my throat was hard to swallow, correcting my self. 

"Andy," R.K. said my name to get my attention, "Okay, so, she's awake," he said with a small smile, my heart jumped from my rib cage. 

"What!? i need to see her-"

R.K. stopped me as i was getting up, "Wait, It's possible she suffered some memory loss, not completely because she remembers why she's here but it's possible that other things may be spotty so don't overwhelm her okay?"

I wasn't really comprehending his words, all i knew is that she was awake and I had to see her. "okay, okay, lets go," I said adjusting Royal.

R.K. placed his hand on my shoulder as he lent over to tickle Royal's nose, who once again was asleep. "I think she took a nearly shit."

"R.K. stop wasting time- fuck she did," I said crinkling my nose. the news had me belated to the point where i didn't mind stupid jokes. We went to the area Krystal's room was. I dipped into the bathroom with Royal to change her while R.K. talked to the doctor. I had her crying by the time we came out.

I couldn't find R.K. as I made my way down the hall with Royal crying. The baby bag was falling down my arm as I tried to quiet her.

I faintly heard Krystal's voice, "That's her! R.K. where is she?" 

A room away R.K. appeared, "Okay, she's been asking for Royal, the nurse said introduce one person at a time, so can I take her?" he asked as royal started to settle down. I nodded as i tried to switch arms. after an awkward moment, he had her and took her in the room. I watched from the window as I saw Krystal take her into her arms and Royal quiet down. 

I felt like I was watching a movie, it all felt surreal. I didn't realize how pressed up against the glass I was until my nose hit it.

I think my heart stopped momentarily as Krystal met eyes with me and mouthed my stupid name.

_____

We almost done boys