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I shouldn't have googled whatever the fuck amniotic fluid in the blood stream ment. It was terrifying enough being kicked out the operation room, and having Royal taken for observation. Not to mention Krystal passing out.

I was pacing around the waiting room with Ashley there with me. "Hey, Andy, calm down," he said, putting his hand on my shoulder. I stared at him like he was crazy.

"I can't fucking calm down, Ash, I can't lose her," I snapped at him, I regretted taking my worry and frustration out on him. "Ashley, I can't do this without her."

"do what?" He questioned.

"Raise our baby! I can't take care of Royal myself- I can't even fucking take care of my self without her-"

"Andy stop that shit," Ashley snapped at me, I furrowed my eyebrows, "You can't think like that, you're expecting the worse, Krystal will be fine, your baby will be fine."

"You don't know that!" I shouted at him, I didn't give a fuck who heard what. "Ashley, that shit can fucking kill her!"

"Chill the fuck out," he grabbed me by the shoulders. "Listen this is no time for you to lose your shit or relapse or anything, you need to be there for your daughter and for Krystal."

I sniffed, I didn't realize i was crying like some baby. "I can't," I shook my head.

-----

"You need to get some rest and a shower," Ava told me, she had come after Ashley left. I haven't gotten any sleep in the last 24 hours.

"I can't," I mumbled.

"You know, Krystal would tell you the same."

I stared at her, "She probably would."

"Go home, take care of yourself," Ava told me.

I did after a little moping. The drive was terrible, I couldn't see Krystal nor could I see Royal. No amount of music could stop me from thinking incessantly.

It felt like hours before I got back to the apartment. I truly looked how I felt, I took a shower, trying to get my shit together. I planned out my actions, eat something, take a two hour nap, back to the hospital.

I tumbled around the kitchen, all I ended up with making was bread and cheese. Not even a grilled cheese. I bit it, chewing and trying to swallow it down. I needed something to drink. I grabbed the whiskey bottle, gulping some down and leaving the rest of the sandwich there.

I took the bottle with me to bed, I set an alarm for two and a half hours, half an hour to fall asleep. I took less than that before I was out cold. Through my sleep all that played out was the moment from Royal opening her eyes to Krystal fainting away and Royal being taken. I had slept through the alarm. It was four P.M. now. I stumbled over to the bathroom, still pretty drunk as I brushed my teeth.

I stupidly drove back to the hospital, thankfully nothing happened except running a red light. I rushed through everything hoping I could see Krystal. They sent me to the same waiting room. She was still in the ICU and being treated heavily.

This is a good sign. I reminded my self. I texted my parents who had gotten the soonest flight down. They left early this morning and would probably be here soon.

"Andy," RK said. I can't deal with him right now.

"What's up," I muttered, I glanced up, his mohawk was down, a floppy mess. He wasnt dressed all punk as usual, just a T-shirt and sweats. He looked at me dazing, probably also drunk.

"I'm worried," he shrugged, "but I heard your baby is doing fine and you can see her."

I smiled, something good. "Where is she?"

"Some newborn unit?"

"Intensive care?"

"Yeah that's it," he nodded.

"Come with me," I told him, he was the first person to give me good news.

We made it down, she was in this little box thing, asleep. A smile spread on my face seeing her. She had a little blonde hair on her head.

"Wow," RK mumbled.

"I know," I said, sticking my finger through one of the holes to touch her little cheek. She was so soft. They had her in a yellow blanket.

"What's her name?" RK asked.

"Royal," I mumbled softly to him, the only other people who knew were my parents and Ashley.

"That's my name!" He whisper shouted. I looked at him crunching my eyebrows.

"You're kidding," I said.

"What do you think R.K. stands for?"

"I don't know?"

"Royal King," he grinned, "my parents let me choose my name when I was 10. My I grew up in a commune all the kids chose our names."

"What the actual fuck," I chuckled, we both laughed together. Yeah it'll be okay.

"I know you don't like me," he said, "but, Krystal, shes like, I love her- so much. But not like you do, I don't want to take her from you, I'm not going to. She's my family and yours as well, were fucking family man, I've got your back no matter what happens, and, and Royal I have her back too." His hand was on my shoulder as we looked at Royal.

I don't know if it was because I was drunk or not but I looked at R.K. and I immediately started to sob, hugging him.

_____

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