Locker 17

Chapter 130

IMPORTANT: I HAVE NOT GIVEN ANY PERMISSION TO ANYONE AT ALL TO TRANSLATE LOCKER 17. I HAVE SAID IT BEFORE AND WILL SAY IT AGAIN. I AM NOT LETTING ANYONE TRANSLATE UNLESS I GIVE THEM PERMISSION. THE TIME TO ASK TO TRANSALTE IS WHEN I FINISH THE FANFIC. ONCE I FINISH IT AND IT'S COMPLETE AND I'VE WORKED ON THE GRAMMAR AND ALL, I WILL BE TAKEN OPEN TO REQUESTS AND WILL CHOSE WHO IS ABLE TO TRANSLATE IT. I WILL THEN LINK THE TRANSLATING FICS IN MY BIO HERE ON WATTPAD, BUT THEY MUST REMAIN ON WATTAD. FURTHER INFORMATION WILL BE AVAILABLE ONCE THIS FANFIC IS DONE, FOR NOW THERE IS NO TRANSLATING OR REQUESTS BEING TAKEN. THANK YOU.

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Songs for this chapter - Stay with me - Sam Smith

October

*Harry's POV*

Life's been different and has changed just within the time span of five months. Never in a million years, at least not after meeting Louis, did I imagine I'd be here in a room, alone studying without him. This isn't what I wanted, or expected to happen, but it did and I can't change it.

There hasn't been a day where I haven't been cooped up in this labyrinth of mine. Thoughts have come and gone, but his face still remains in them. I've been trying so hard to occupy myself with other things to simply forget for a while, but I can't. The aegis I created to protect me from hurting more doesn't help, but keeps me hurting, just in a different way.

I thought moving here to London was a good decision, hoping I'd forget about what happened. After arriving here and spending a week, I realized I wasn't moving here because I wanted to forget, but instead I was running away from the best thing that had ever happened to me. Losing Louis hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be, but maybe that's because I feel like I still haven't lost him. There's a part of me that still hopes he'll come running through my door and I'll be waiting here with open arms, but I know that just won't happen.

The day I decided to let Louis go, at least I wanted to, I turned back and left him there in the hallway. There was no time for explaining, I wanted to get out of there because everywhere I looked in those halls, I knew Louis and I had been there roaming them when we were happy, when I was happy. After reading Liam's note, there was no other ideas that would come to mind, no other options, so I did what I did. When Louis gave me his letter Liam gave him, I pretended to look through it, I didn't want something to stop me from what I was trying so hard to do, that's why I ripped it. What happened after that is something I'll never forget. For once, it wasn't me begging for him to stay, to not give up, it was him. The thing that killed me the most, was when he said he had found someone who made him happy, and that someone was standing in front of him. I lost it, I did, and I couldn't go on. The thing is, when our hands slipped away from each other, and our finger no longer touched, it didn't feel any different, and it still doesn't, maybe we've both haven't let go for whatever reason.

All Louis wanted that day was a little more time, just a little, but I knew "little" could mean a lot of things, and I was right. He said he needed a little more time, that he was leaving, he never said he wouldn't come back. For some reason I was hopeful that I'd bump into him in the hallways, this time without my selfish, asshole like behavior, but never happened. The moment I let go of Louis' hand was the last time I saw him but not the last time I heard about him. Word was that he was here in London, but I've had no luck in finding him.

A week passed after I "let him go", and it was prom. I still had hopes that he'd show up to it, so I rented a tux, even reserved a table for just us two at prom, it only turned out to be disappointment. Niall was the one who encouraged me to go, he said he'd talked to Louis, that he was sure to be there, I was ready to take back everything I had said, and fight for him just like Niall said to do. I sat there at the table, two hours passed, nothing, he must be running late , I said to myself. Another hour passed, he probably got stuck in traffic, or something came up, I tried to convince myself again. Then two more hours passed, everyone was already leaving and I kept staring at the front entrance, with the biggest smile on my face, still waiting. Fifteen more minutes passed and my smile, my hope, all subsided, and yet I was still staring at that entrance, still hoping I'd see him walk through it with a tux and a smile on his face. That's when I felt a pat on my back, then heard a voice say "I don't think he's coming, Harry." and the person who said that almost made me relieved that he was the one to tell me, because it took all my doubts away. Dominic had somehow showed up, hoping to see Louis and apologize to him and me, and I couldn't help but spill about what had happened. At first I told him everything was okay, and that we were as happy as can be, then I knew it was time to let down my guard and stop pretending so that I could be ontop of Dominic. I went on for hours, telling him everything, everything I never imagine telling him. And while doing all that, I knew I wasn't over or was going to be over Louis anytime soon. That bad boy act was all a joke. I kept asking myself that night, what if I didn't do this, what if I didn't do that, what if I didn't fuck up all those times, what if I wouldn't have given up, everything was just a what if?