Mountain Dew Red // Be More Chill + Dear Evan Hansen

🔥Not A Care🔥

So uhhh.... this will be kinda (very) depressing.....

Please don't murder me!

TRIGGER WARNING:
Mentions of self harm and (some) self denigration

•-•~•-•~•-•

Jake Dillinger and Richard Goranski had been dating for approximately three years, moving in with each after two.

You can learn a lot about someone after living with them for a year.

For instance, Jake had learned that Rich liked to sing off key to popular songs while dancing like no body could see him. Jake also learned that Rich would write down things that made him happy and things that made him sad because he wanted to balance them out. Another thing he did was bite his nails out of anxiety, shake out of rage or sadness, and doodle random things when he was happy. Jake noticed it all.

He especially noticed when his lover started acting weird.

It started off as just small, tiny things that changed. Like when Rich would scratch his wrists and how his drawings would tend to involve some kind of sad aspect such as crying or over sleeping.

But then it got worse.

Rich would barely eat and make would always have an excuse on the ready. "I ate earlier.", "I'm not hungry.", and "I'll eat later." Were his most common used ones. His happy-sad charts started to contain more sad things rather then happy before they stopped completely. He would have trouble sleeping, resulting in sudden mood swings. He would bite his nails and shake more often then usual. He picked up on the habit of vigorously biting his lip, which resulted in it bleeding from the harshness. He almost always had a lighter on him. His small scratches got worse and worse until they seemed almost excessive  Rich would scratch at, not only his wrists, but also at his thighs, stomach, and shoulders. He started wearing more long sleeves, completely abandoning his classic blue tank top. He would get anxious around knives and scissors and would avoid any subject relating to death, or more specifically, suicide.

And then everything changed. Rich was suddenly happy again and didn't have a care in the world.

Well, that's what Jake had thought.

Rich wasn't happy, not at all. Sure he could act it, but he truly was nothing other than depressed.

He made Jake worry about him too much. His parents didn't love him. He had bullied Michael and Jeremy. He burned his best friends house down. He was worthless.

Rich had been planning something, sometime that made him happy, Jake had no idea what was going on.

So when Jake came home one night after work, expecting to cuddle his boyfriend into oblivion, he was completely devastated at what he saw.

Because there, hanging in the living room, was Rich Goranski's limp, lifeless body and a note.