Past doesn't matter (Levi x OC x Erwin) AU/modern +18

Chapter 21 - What it means to love me Pt. 2 🍋

Levi's P.O.V.

I couldn't tear my eyes and ears from her the whole time. It's like as if she's stripping down her whole personality to me at this moment and all I could do was to listen in awe. I had no fucking idea how she's imagining the situation, how she might feel the whole time. To hear her explaining her world to me left me speechless and I couldn't hold back myself as I wrapped my arms tight around her body to pull her close to me. Now I finally got the full extent of what my actions had caused. I'd shaken up her deep trust in me without knowing what I might cause to her sanity. I was prepared to be left alone, I was prepared to achieve a slap in my face from her, but I wasn't prepared for this. That she explained herself to me like this, telling me nonchalantly that she's planning to never let me go after she endured and fought against her anxiety that hard to let me into her life. I still can't get over the fact of how lucky I am to have this woman. She's been alone for so long and her whole world was probably shaken to the core when Erwin and I entered it. No wonder that she's been so tense whenever I was alone with her, or when Erwin was touching her in a way that could be misjudged with him being her boyfriend.

I felt Nina returning my embrace as she hides her face in the small of my nape, breathing heavily. Even now, she remains strong, fighting her tears for not risking a mental breakdown. With long and gentle strokes, I caressed her back and head, whispering sweet nothings into her ear. Moments before, I was the one who would've given anything to receive this treatment from her, but to feel her so close to me again, her arms around me, her skin on mine and her breathing in my neck, was enough to make me regain my composure. My thoughts were interrupted by a sudden "Click" somewhere from beside me. I turn my head in the direction from where it came. It was Erwin's door that clicked into its frame. Damn...that smartass must've listened to us the whole time. He surely wasn't trusting my ability to come up with a proper apology. Why should he? I don't even apologize to him after I screwed up something. I sure will have to listen to some stupid explanations from him in the next days and he sure won't get rid of his stupid grin, but I couldn't care less right now. The night isn't over yet and I still have to take care of my woman's wounded heart, and I definitely won't allow Erwin to ruin that moment!

"Nina, come. Come with me. I want you to come to bed with me. Will you join me?" I asked her, parting from her enough to take her hands in mine, fondling over her silky skin with my thumbs.

"Yes. I would like to do that." How happy I am to hear these words from her. Seems like I did something right with getting rid of my attitude and stripping down my pride. Yet, I hope I won't have to do that ever again. I'm not used to it and I feel uncomfortable to go down on my knees and beg for forgiveness, but in the end, it helped, and that's what matters. With Nina's hands in mine, we stand up from the ground as I lead her to my room, closing the door behind us and locking it before I guide her to my bed. More than anything right now, I want to be close to her, the type of closeness a loving couple shares to express their deep love for each other, but I'm unsure if she'll allow me after we made up just moments ago. I sit down next to her, with my hand resting on her thigh and stroking over it with my thumb. Again, I found myself wordless in her presence, unable to describe my true feelings. I must wear my uncertainty on my sleeves, since I feel Nina's hand touching mine. With a slight gasp, I stare at her hand, then moving higher to her face. Finally, I can see her smiling again. How much I missed to see her like this. I almost lost her and the chance to see her smiling at me ever again, which makes this moment even more precious and valuable.

"Levi. It's okay. You don't have to hold back. We made up. I still love you, and you love me. What else is there to say?"

"I just don't know if it's suitable right now. To take advantage of the situation that shamelessly. I don't want to rush things."