Past doesn't matter (Levi x OC x Erwin) AU/modern +18

Chapter 26 - Grow beyond your limits Pt. 3

By now, your tea was finished, but your thoughts ran wild once more. You always believed that it's just a very close bond between you and Erwin, as friends, some kind of platonic love maybe, though the longer you thought about it, more memories flooded your already overwhelmed mind, and whenever you three, or you two were together, you acted not very friend-like: holding hands, giving away massages and back rubs, cuddling on the couch and teasing and mocking each other like a crushing teenage-couple, cooking together, goddammit you even let him sleep next to you in your bed when Levi acted like a jerk. In the younger past, you caught yourself thinking about Erwin more than usual, and even the slightest picture of him inside your head made you smile like an idiot, just the way when it began with Levi. With Erwin....is just.....it felt all so natural, not forced or weird at all, that you never ever thought that this would turn into something like this.

Now that you're alone with just yourself, having this moment of absolute clarity, you cant deny it any longer:

Its clear that Erwin is more than just a friend, that he's more in general. And thats the real thing that confusing, and scaring alike. What about Levi? Theres no doubt, not even a little bit, that you love Levi from the depths of your heart, with all his edges and curves, but how shall this work? Ignoring your own and Erwins feelings wouldnt help forever, and sooner or later, Levi will find out, and then the real shit will come down, but the simple thought of telling Levi about this, about Erwin, was dreadful like nothing ever before.

Levi said more than once, you're his, and his alone, that he doesnt want any other guy touching you and that he's even willing to underline his words with violence if necessary.

You dont want Erwin and Levi to fight over you, not to mention to fight against each other, but if you keep quiet about this, there's no doubt that the friendship between these two was doomed to break.

Both men have their own personality, their own mistakes, preferences and benefits. Both are completely different from each other, but theres one thing they both have in common: they arent like ANY other men you knew and met before. Both, Levi and Erwin, are patient with you, loving, they care about your well-being and want you to be happy. You cant live without either of them. You already made that crystal clear to Levi, but how should you say it to him?
That there might be maybe the possibility that you're in love with his best friend as well? Yeah, thats so not going to work. Levi will get furious if he finds out, if he knows.

There has to be a way to solve this somehow! But as much as you dislike it, there is no solution without talking. Which means....you have to talk to Erwin AND Levi. Starting with Erwin is probably the best thing to do, since Levi will be gone for another two weeks, but.....are you really able to face Erwin again? After all what happened?

It happened never before that Erwin forced you to do anything against your will, and its partly your own fault that it turned out this way. Even though you knew about Erwin's feelings for so long, you actually never said in any way that you dont want him to stop this, or to look for another woman whom he can give his heart, and knowing Erwin right, he's probably sitting on the couch, drowning his self-pity in alcohol and blaming all himself for forcing him onto you.

From all mistakes Erwin made, this was by far the cruelest, but in spite of all doubts, he'd stopped. It might be too forward, or too early to say this for sure, because Erwin really hurt you with this headless action, but that he'd stopped, tells you that he meant no harm towards you. To lose all faith and trust in him now, might be the wrong way. First, you need to talk to him before you decide ANYTHING!

And since you were so damn stupid to leave your phone behind, there was no chance to call him. This leaves just one option...

Erwin P.O.V.