Past doesn't matter (Levi x OC x Erwin) AU/modern +18

Chapter 38: Beacon of Hope Pt. 1

Hello my dear lovelies!!!

Im FINALLY back again!!!

Im deeply sorry to make you wait for so long (5 months *cough, cough*) but i needed this break very urgently. I was finally able to focus on other things and gather new strength, muse and will to continue this fanfiction.
I'll still be VERY slow at times, but I'll also promise to do my very best.

This chapter took me FOREVER!!! Not only because of lacking muse, but also to write an understandable AND believable way to make you understand that theres not just one person to blame for the shit that had been happening in the past chapters.
I hope you guys love the outcome.

I hope you enjoy this long overdue chapter <3

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Levi P.O.V.

I just wanted to forget, drink, forget, and then drink again.

I think I have never been so drunk and numb in my life as I have been in these two weeks. Or was it just a week?

I had lost all sense of time, the days blurred into one another and formed only a strange rhythm of bright and dark skies. I only left the hotel where I had stayed all the time to eat, but I never stayed out longer than an hour.

On the second day of my stay here, my boss also called me to let me know that I was fired because of the incident in London with the decadent asshole who dared to sexually harass me.

Because I had just left without giving any feedback or reason, and because I hadn't even called my boss the whole time since I returned, not even recently where I should have appeared at work to earn my money, which I didn't.

Hence it came as it had to come.

But the truth was: I didn't care.

I had more than enough money on my account to live on it for several months and maybe to move to another city. I couldn't stay here any longer. Everything I see, everything I hear and smell, every little detail here reminds me of her.

From the moment I left Nina to break up with her, my whole shitty life was like a heap of broken glass that grew bigger every hour.

After taking note of the call from my former boss, I turned the device off and threw it into the next best corner, where it would remain for the next two weeks.

Despondent and exhausted, I cut myself off from all social contacts, wanted to see and hear no living soul.

I just wanted to be left alone.

However, my thoughts never stopped circling around what I left behind: my Nina, the woman who had lied to me for months, had kissed behind my back with my best friend while I knew nothing.

Everything that was dear to me slipped out of my grasp. Everything and everyone I loved moved away from me. I lost everything I loved and I wasn't even in control of it.

The deep, dark feeling of being betrayed and lied to by the people who were most important to me in my life ate me up on the inside.

Erwin, whom I didn't just see as my best friend, but more like a brother, a comrade with whom I had walked through thick and thin and whom I could always rely on and whom I would have blindly entrusted my life to, betrayed me in the worst way I could imagine, but what hurt much worse was Nina's treachery.

The woman I loved from the bottom of my heart, with whom I was already planning a future together, with whom I could even imagine having children, and whom I trusted most of all, fell in love with my best friend behind my back. I didn't believe her assurances that she would still love me. How can you love two people at the same time, to the same extent, and without restrictions?