Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss one-shots [Currently Editing]

Blitzø x short fem human agent!reader

Requested by @kittylove32

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Y/n were standing beside agent One and Two as they waited for the two demons fo awake.
Y/n is an agent at D.H.O.R.K.S. and is called Agent Three, or Three by One and Two.

When both were awake, Two walked up to the little one and pointed the lamp at him, he closed his eyes and blinked at the light.

"Finally awake, huh, little fella. Your partner has been a while now." She said and the taller one looked away from Y/n who was standing beside him and at Two.

"Look, shitbag, it takes a lot to keep me down, alright? I took a fuck ton of tranquilizers in the college I dropped out of. Also, I've been strapped nipple first to a car battery, so I- oh, okay," The demon stopped talking when One walked over and pointed the lamp in his face.

"Tell us, demon scum. Who do you work for? Satan?" One asked before Two grabs the light again and passes it to One each question.

"How did you get to our world from the afterlife?" Two asked

"Why are youse killing humans?" One asked

"When did you show up here?" Two asked once again. Y/n sighed at this as she stood between the two where the lamp was getting passed. She opened her eyes when she noticed the two agents had stopped passing the lights.

"Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, bitch. First of all, we just woke up from a very nasty shock and I'm still feeling fuckin' woozy, so I'm gonna request you fetch us some coffee before we get into this. I mean, everyone gets coffees in shitty movies with scenes like this, am I right? I want something iced, bitch. Mox?" The demon turns his head around to the shorter one apparently called Mox.

"I'll have a Neopolitan cappuccino, more cappu than cino, make sure it's got no more than four ounces of milk, the beans won't have the right texture otherwise, and make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup they always put "Foxy" or "Roxy", I hate that. If you can't handle that, I'll have a Venti traditional Misto. Please use soy milk with two blond shots Affogato and Ristretto. I'd also love three vanilla pumps at the very bottom. Then, add the coffee after, then-" Y/n and the taller demon made eye contact and he shrugged when suddenly One yelled, "Enough! We aren't getting youse coffee!"

"Wow, I was getting massive douche chills just there, Mox. Congrats!" The demon said.

"If we have to, we are willing to resort to torture methods to get answers out of you nasty hell beasts!" Two said said and Mox looked at her.

"When you say "tortured", do you mean physical or psychological? Physical seems counterproductive; we would likely tell you anything if it meant an end to the pain, and you have no way of knowing what was true,"

"Or we might like it too much. And then you got a whole new thing to deal with."

"What do you mean by that?" One asked, getting in his face.

"Oh, you're stupid, huh? I can work with stupid. Daddy Likey Dummy!"

Mox squirms in his chair trying to hold back his laughter but laughs anyway. Y/n holds a hand over her mouth as she let out a giggle at Agent One's disgusted reaction.