Football Imagines

Christian Pulisic

NAME: Rhea
Song Imagine
Breakeven: The Script
Christian's POV:

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even

Me and Rhea were dating for 4 years, I loved her with everything I had. We met when I moved to London for Chelsea F.C. we fell in love and had the time of our lives until we broke up. Rhea told me she didn't like that we barely had anytime together. She broke up with me and I watched her leave. I watched her break my heart. After she left, she got freedom, I saw her Instagram posts, stories. She was going out partying, hanging with friends while I don't leave the house other then training, matches and going to the lads houses. I'm alive but am I breathing? Am I living?

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't breakeven, even, no

After two months, I saw online she was dating someone. She was enjoying life, falling in love while I can't sleep, I can't eat well. I lie awake thinking of our past. My parents are worried but I assure them I'm fine. I'm not fine. I'm never fine. I'm never happy, I'm never enjoying my time. I just wish I put her first but I didn't. I took her for granted or did I?

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces

Her parents called me a couple of times, to see how I was doing. Their upset I'm upset. They visited yesterday for dinner, it was the first time I laughed. As the nights go by, I look at our photos and cry. She was the best part of me. When I'm crying, she's laughing and being happy with him. Why can't that be me? Why can't I be the man you love?

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks, no, it don't breakeven, even, even, no

Everyone tells me it happened for a reason, but it never helps me. Rhea and David, their happy, she's happy while I'm grieving our 4 year relationship. Sometimes I feel like just hiding away forever. It won't work though, will it? I doubt it, my family won't allow me too.

Oh, you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, oh
'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name

She has David's heart and mine. She doesn't have the pain I have. She took her suitcase while I took the blame. Oh how I took the blame. News articles all but said she left me cause I was always gone because I didn't love her. I sit at home, thinking or trying to make sense of it all. Trying to find love that she seemed to take with her. I have no love and no love to my name. I have nothing.

I started therapy, everyone told me to go get help, so I listened. She helped me see that I did nothing wrong. I was doing my job while finding time for Rhea but Rhea is the one that didn't try to find time with me. It helped me and here I am, a year and a half later happy and actually living life.

"Chris?" Said Rhea. I turn and spot her with David. "Rhea" I said, placing my hands in my pocket. "Wanna catch up?" Asked Rhea, smiling with a look of hope. I nod. "Ok, sure" I said. We go to a cafe and we sit down. I order a coffee.

"Chris, how are you?" Asked Rhea, rubbing her hands on the table. "Finally happy and free. I was in therapy for a while. I wasn't dealing with us ending so well." I said. "Oh, why?" Asked Rhea. "While you were out falling in love and having fun, I was grieving our relationship. I had the pain, the baggage, the blame of it all. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't live. Eventually everyone was sick of me being that way so I went to therapy. It helped a lot. Especially when I told my side. Of how I kept trying to find time but you kept pushing me away till you dumped me. Helped me see that maybe I shouldn't have the pain or the blame. That if you met me in the middle, we'd still be happy. Don't try and say it was all me. I kept trying to spend time with you but you pushed me away all the time. I guess you could say, I've seen what happened and I know it wasn't me. I loved you so much that after you left, you still had my heart, my love. Now you don't. My heart is mine and always will be until I find that someone who will want to meet me in the middle and not leave me hanging. Not dumping me after not trying with me. You never, not once thought how I was doing? No you probably didn't. I should go, I promised Dallas I'd meet up with her." I said. "Who's Dallas?" Asked Rhea. "She was my therapist but now we're friends" I said, leaving.

After two years of friendship me and Dallas dated and got married. She always made sure she had time and always met me in the middle.

Rhea and David ended up breaking up because the same thing happened. I should of been sad but I wasn't because she did what she did to me to him, I did meet up with him though. He understood my pain and I helped him with his.

All the roads led to Dallas. They were right, bad things happen for a reason is true.

I hope you enjoyed this imagine. I enjoyed writing it!

Lorna xx