#36 You still have feelings for an ex

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Niall: You had no plans for Niall to ever know that fact. It was simple something he did not need to know. However, after a night of sitting on the couch talking, somehow along the way you'd admitted to him that your first real love was something you did not know you'd ever get over. "So you still have feelings for him, even now?" You shifted uncomfortably on the couch, and looked down at your lap, "I mean, not the same feelings I did at the time we were together. But in a way... yeah. Don't you have feelings for your first love?" Niall shrugged, truly not sure he had been in love before. He'd dated a few girls he had told those words too, but to say he has truly been in love with anyone, he wasn't so sure. "I really don't think I do, but I understand what you're saying. After being so in love with someone, you can never just say you don't care anymore." You nodded, so relived he understood, "Yeah, but I don't still love him. It's different. I love you now, not him."


Harry: "Feelings, as in..." Harry paused, trying to understand what you were telling him. You had been together only a month, and now you were saying you still had feelings for your ex. "As in I don't know," you replied honestly, tears in your eyes. Hurting Harry was the last thing you ever wanted to do. You cared about him so much. "You still love him?" You had to look away from Harry. You could not keep your eyes on him, as you opened your mouth and replied, "All I know is seeing him, I realized I do still have feelings for him. I really have enjoyed our last month though. This isn't rebound or anything to make him jealous. I really care about you, and I'm so confused." You expected to be screamed at. You expected him to be angry. And if it were any other guy, that's probably what you would have gotten. But with Harry, he just accepted it, and nodded his head, "Well then take time to decide what you are feeling. If you decide I am what you want, I'm here. If not, then okay. I really do enjoy being with you, but I want you to be happy." Your answer did not take long, "I've already decided, despite my thoughts, I am happy. Here. With you."


Zayn: "just admit it [Y/N]. You still love him." Hearing Zayn say those words broke your heart in two. Each part of it was true. You did still love your ex, and you were refusing to admit it. It was not that simple though. "I love you too though," you cried, as you covered your face with your hands, "He meant a lot to me, and he always will. But I don't want him back. I wish you would understand that." Seeing you in tears, a lot of the anger Zayn had felt only moments ago was quickly disappearing. "I want to be mad at you, so please don't cry." "But I'm hurting you, and I can't help it," you barely got out, as Zayn put his arm around you. "I do still care about him, I do. But I love you so, so much. I wish I could explain this better, but that's the best I can." Zayn could see how honest you were being now, and how much this did hurt you. Your explanation was enough. "I don't like that you have feelings for him. I can't lie about that... but I love you too much to let this get in the way, and so I'll try to understand."


Liam: You hated yourself for still having feelings for someone else. Liam should have been more than enough, and yet you found yourself longing for someone who had broken your heart. "I see the way you look at him," Liam explained, his voice shaking. He didn't need to say who he was, or even start a true conversation. Saying just that was more than enough for you to know what he was talking about. "I won't deny it," you quickly replied, sadly looking at him. What was the point in lying now? "I do still have feelings for him. Strong feelings." Liam felt his heart aching. He loved you so much. "Does he know?" You shook your head, and felt tears in your eyes, "No, and I don't want him to. I can't control that my heart still loves him, but I can control that I know he hurt me. I know not to go back. I miss him, but not enough. And I'm so sorry, I wish I didn't miss him." Liam wished that as well, but couldn't change it either, "There's nothing we can do. You have feelings for him..." You nodded, "But I have feelings for you as well. Don't think I don't."


Louis: Being with Louis, most people would expect any feelings you had for anyone prior to just disappear. How could you still love another, with the amazing man next to you? However, that is not how things actually worked. You were totally in love with Louis, but when your ex called and wanted you back, you felt your heart shattering. A part of you still loved him so much, and turning him down was so hard to do. "I love you Louis, and I'm not going anywhere," you sighed, as you laid in bed together. He did not know all that was going on in your mind, or even that your ex had called, but you still felt the need to randomly say that. Louis smiled, but was slightly worried, "I love you too [Y/N]." You snuggled closer to him, and in that moment your knew for sure, whatever feelings you did have for your ex, they were not what you felt for the man lying next to you. "I'm so, so happy, and I wouldn't want to be anywhere but here." 

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