My Big Brother's Best Friend Volume 3: Finding My Own Path (BoyXBoy)

Chapter 84: You Do Or You Don't

After all of us left the school parking lot we went back home by my mom where we were having dinner and the night went a little bit better. There were a lot of jokes but my sister went to bed early because of the baby and so did KJ. My little guy had a lot of excitement for the day so it was all of us there chilling in the dining and living room. It was my parents, Chris aunt and cousin Damien, Troy, Terry, Shawn, Dion, JB, Bentley and my brother sent Tyrell to his bed because it was getting late. We were just laughing and having a good time when my Chris got up and looked at me funny telling everyone he be quite he had something to say. I was like what are you doing because I this was a spur of the moment thing. I thought to myself what this nigga have to say right now. He got up and I�m in total shock to what he is going to do right now and he told me to get up but I didn�t so he took my hand and pulled me up out of my chair.

Me: Chris what are you doing? I said that to him with a confused face and he was just smiling so happy. My mom was looking like she wanted to cry and my father was looking on with a confused face like what the fuck is about to happen. I glimpse over to Dion and he was looking all mugged like his heart was about to me ripped from his shirt. My brother was just giving me this face like do what you got to do little brother but everyone else was super happy.

Chris: He started to laugh and then he said I know everyone looking at me crazy but I�m feeling really good right now.(I squeezed his hand to tell him not to do this but he was insisting on doing this in front of my parents then he pushed on ignoring me). All we ever wanted was for our family to accept us for who we really are and not who we tried to be growing up to please society. My mom died but she knew how much I love him and she actually gave me the idea. I love this guy right here with all my heart and everyone in life has that special someone that changes them for the better. That special person that makes you wants to be a better and leave old ways behind. So many die without finding that special person but, I have and it makes me so thankful to God that I�ve found you baby. (I was standing there holding his hand looking into his eye feeling thank full that I�ve got him as well to be with. I love him with all my heart even though I felt so out of place in front of my parents. He continue to confess his love to me then he just turned again as he said I know we already talked about it but since our family are here for a great celebration I thought we should do it the right way. He put his hand in his pocket as he dropped to the floor on one knee then he looked at me with his eyes watering. I was tearing up because I was so in shock I didn�t know what to do or say. I don�t know if I�m doing it right but I�m on one knee with my eyes and heart full asking you will you marry me or be my husband for real this time in front of everyone.

Me: Did he really say will you marry me for real this time then I started breathing fast because I was so scared (Tears were just dropping from my eyes and it was making me feel light headed because I didn�t know what to say. The room got quite and everyone was looking for my answer but all I could�ve thought about was my son. I want to spend my life with Chris but I don�t know if now the right time for us to get married. Am I really ready to be a married man at this young age and probably risk losing my son if it gets out that I�m married? I started too really think about it while Chris cracked a joke saying his knee was hurting any day now he wanted a answer. I looked at my mom and she whispered let your heart decide and when she said that my mouth started to move. I grabbed his hand then I said I then I paused while I looked at him and everyone then it followed with don�t.

Chris: What! Am I hearing things did you just say you don�t want to marry me (His eye was just dropping tears and I was just crying because I know it wasn�t the answer he want to hear but it was the answer that was right for me right now.

Me: When I said I don�t means I don�t right now but I do in the future want to marry you(When I said that he got up off his knee then he walked off then he went out the back door. I felt horrible then I followed him so we could talk about this alone outside. I ran after him I grabbed his hand) Chris don�t be mad please don�t be mad I love you but I don�t want lose KJ and I don�t think Im ready as yet we are still young.