he re-lived the accident every day. every night when jimin would close his eyes and finally fall asleep, horrifying images of the car accident that had left his true love dead, played in his mind. it was about six months ago. they were both in the back of the car leaving their friends house. their other good friend, jungkook, had been driving. they were all laughing and talking alot and jungkook being a new driver, somehow got distracted. and boom. they crashed into a nearby tree.
on impact, jungkook had been shot up from his seat and had broken his left wrist and fractured his neck. jimin, had been left with a broken right arm and a few bruises on the sides of his stomach and a cut on the edge of his lip. his boyfriend yoongi, wasnt so lucky. originally, yoongi had gotten a broken leg and fractured wrist. but what they didnt notice until they had pulled them all out of the car, was that the side of yoongis head had a big cut. and even though the ambulance got there as soon as they could, they just werent soon enough. in the time that the car sat there on the side of the road, yoongi had bled out through his head and died.
and jimin had to re-live that memory every single fucking day. of course he didnt blame jungkook, he cant even imagine how he feels. but it didnt make his pain any less. he doesnt remember much from the crash, but what he does remember makes his heart crack more and more each time he thinks about it. the first thing he remembers is looking at jungkook and yoongi laughing loudly at something he had said, and them he can feel the car come to an abrupt stop when it hits something hard. after that he just has blurry memories of opening his eyes and seeing yoongi next to him, but his body sitting an odd and distorted way. and the worst part is, he had thought he was alive.
but now, all he has is the distant memory of how it felt to hold yoongis hand and hold him in his arms. he can still hear his voice saying things to him and the way he smelled. and some mornings, jimin wakes up and for a moment, he forgets. but then that moment is over, and the devastating reality that his love is dead is back in his mind. and endless tears fall out of his eyes as he looks over and realizes that he will never again get to wake up next to yoongi, or talk to him, or tell him how much he loves him.
and every morning when he finally pulls himself out of bed and looks at the pictures of yoongi on the wall that he cant ever bring himself to take down, he just thinks about what he would give to just get to say goodbye to him. but jimin knew that he needed to go visit jungkook. no matter how much it hurts to actually go out and see things knowing that yoongis not here to see them with him. but eventually, he finally gets up and heads to jungkooks apartment. when he gets to the door with the white paint chipping off of it, he stops. he stops and takes a deep breath to try and contain his emotions. these days he hasnt been very good at that.
"jimin? oh my god, jimin!" taehyung opens the door and almost has a heart attack at the sight of his best friend. "t-tae i-" but the rest of the words dont come because next thing he knows, hes clinging to his best friends shirt and sobbing. because hes just so, so fucking sad. and having his best friend here makes it just a little bit better. "jeongguk, jimins here!" taehyung yells out once he pulls jimin through their doorway.
"huh? o-oh. jimin, hi." jungkook is sitting on the couch, he had just gotten his neck brace removed but the one on his arm is still in place. "hey jungkookie." jimin gives a slight wave, and uses the cute nickname that they have for him to let him know that even though jimin is so upset that he could rip his hair out, he wasnt upset with him. jungkook smiles a little and gestures for them both to sit down with him.
"so, um- how- how have you been, jimin hyung." jungkook says while stuttering because he doesnt quite know how to word the question so that it doesnt make jimin upset. "honestly, terrible. i- i just- i just miss him. i really do. i miss him so much, you know? and it drives me crazy." jimin runs his hand through his hair as he gazes at the floor, tears welling up in his eyes. taehyungs eyes widen as he sees jimins state and moves quickly to hold him close and comfort him. "im so, so sorry jiminie." taehyung whisperes into jimins ear as he holds his best friend to his chest.
when jimin finally contains himself and looks up again, jungkook speaks. "uh- j-jimin hyung? can i say something?" jungkook quietly asks. when he gets a gentle nod from jimin, he continues. "i just want to say, that im so, so sorry. you have no idea just how sorry i am. and i know that you say that it wasnt my fault, but it was. it was all my fault and now yoongi hyung isnt here because of me and- and-" jungkooks apology was cut short when rough sobs started to come out of his throat.
jimin rushed over to where jungkook had his head buried in his hands and wrapped his arms around him. he hugged him closely just as taehyung had did to him and lightly rubbed his back. "it wasnt your fault. i promise that it wasnt. i will never be mad at you for what happened. so dont blame yourself. and i bet yoongi is up there right now, telling us to stop crying like such babies." jimin chuckled slightly as a couple tears escaped his eyes.
and so jimin spent the rest of the day there, with jungkook and taehyung. they talked and watched movies together happily. and even though yoongi wasnt with them, jimin knew that he was there. he could feel it. and that was all the reassuring he needed. even though he will forever need yoongi and wished every day that he was still with him, he would be okay. because he had his friends to help guide him when he didnt feel strong enough to guide himself, and when the pain just felt a little too much..
//
a/n im seriously so evil.. im sorry~ i actually cried writing this sooo... anyways im sorry this took so long to get up. dont worry, the next one wont be angst~ it will be happy and fluffy i promise!
lots of love, namjoon1994!
