"a house made of cards, and us inside
even if you say you see the end, even if you say it'll collapse soon
a house made of cards, and stupidly, us
even if you say its a useless dream, just stay a little more like this"
yoongi and jimin were in, what people like to call, the eye of the storm. the peaceful center of a brewing catastrophe, just waiting for the walls to be suddenly blown down. it was always like this, really. yoongi and jimin would fight, for months it seemed like, before everything would just simmer down for a little while. but then it would start up again. the eye of the storm was the only reason either of them stayed. because in those moments, they were truly in love. in those moments, they werent destroying each other.
they both tried to come up with reasons why they would never truly work. jimin was too high strung and stubborn, and yoongi was too short tempered and sarcastic at inappropriate times. they werent good for each other, and they both knew it too. but jimin didnt want to let go of the way yoongi felt like home and the way he smelled of mint gum and peppermint, and yoongi didnt want to let go of jimins blinding smile and way his presence always made the room seem brighter. but the bad parts of them weighed out the good by so much, sometimes it was hard to bare.
"shut the fuck up!" jimin would shout at the top of his lungs, though it wouldnt make yoongi flinch anymore. jimin would forget what the hell they were even arguing about half way through, but be much too stubborn to let it go. yoongi would stand up and stare, a fuming look in his dark eyes. yoongi was never one for yelling, but he would do it anyway. usually something like "oh, just stop it jimin! whats your problem?" which would only make jimin that much more furious.
but at the end of the night, they both always knew that jimin would crawl into bed beside yoongi, who would welcome him with open arms and a warm blanket. and they would both try and imagine a world where park jimin and min yoongi actually lived happily ever after. they both wanted that so badly. wanted to be good for each other.
jimin often thinks of the night when he truly realized that yoongi cared for him. they had fought all day, and jimin had stormed out in anger. when he returned, yoongi was too consumed by his own thoughts to hear him come in. so jimin watched from afar as yoongi was on his knees, hands pressed together and eyes clenched shut.
"dear god, or whoever the hell is out there, i dont really know if i believe in you, but i hope that if your there, you will here me out. i know me and jimin have made some mistakes, i know we have. but please, please, let us work out. please. hes the only light ive ever known." so later that night, when they had made up, jimin made his own prayer; "i know yoongi gets a little lost sometimes, but please let him become what he wants to be. thats all i ask. he really- he really means alot more to me than i express."
and of course, seokjin would come around every so often, and shake his head while he mumbles, "gosh, you guys are still together?" assuming that they would have ended it since the last time he visited. but no, they were still together. and even though it was harsh, and not easy to bare sometimes, each other was all that they had. but somewhere deep, deep, inside both of them, they knew, that their relationship was toxic.
"as time passes by
we only mess it up even more
no way, no way, its collapsing again"
as the pale moolight seeped through their one window, jimin cuddled his face further into yoongis body. "we'll be okay, right yoongi?" jimin said, his voice muffled by the fabric of yoongis shirt. yoongi inhaled slowly. 'i dont know. i really hope so, jiminie.' he thought to himself. but instead he said out loud; "yeah. of course we will, jiminie."
//
a/n hey guys, so im still going through a rough tie right now. im just really sad, you know? anyways, expect lots of angsty chapters.. (those were house of cards by bts lyrics btw!) i really like the song 'house of cards' ok. itS SO NICE AND THE VOCALS ARE SOHDJDKA.
lots of love, namjoon1994 !
