scared of my own image
scared of my own immaturity
scared of my own ceiling
scared i'll die of uncertainty
jimin lay flat on his back, the bed below him completely stripped of all sheets and pillows. he stared blankly up at the ceiling, for so long that his eyes would start to dry up and sting in a rather uncomfortable manner. his hair stuck out in every direction, and hadnt been washed in who knows how many days. yoongi had confessed to him four days prior to this moment, and he hadnt even answered him at all since then. he didnt know what to do, he didnt know what to think or how to feel, he didnt know anything at all, really. he just hoped that yoongi still loved him.
he doesnt even know if he can handle himself, and his own emotions, let alone having someone else try to. jimin wasnt stable, his mental health at a particularly low dipping point at the moment. it happened sometimes, but he just hadnt expected yoongi to tell him all of this right now. he hadnt been ready, he needed more time. more time to learn how to handle himself and how to make himself more stable. he wanted to be stable for yoongi, yoongi deserved it. he deserved that and so, so much more. jimin feared that he wouldnt be able to give him that.
fear might be the death of me
fear leads to anxiety
don't know whats inside of me
"taehyung, how do you know if you love someone?" jimin asks just as taehyung answers the phone on the third ring. the boy on the other end is silent for a moment, most likely trying to conjure up some sort of answer for his best friend. "is this about yoongi?" he asks instead, deciding to just get straight to the point. taehyung knows the answer is yes just by the small hitch in jimins breathing at his words. taehyung sighs lightly, "i think you just know, jiminie. listen to your heart, not your head." he says slowly, hoping that jimin will pick up on what hes trying to say.
"i- well- ah, okay. thanks tae." jimin sputters out, earning a low chuckled from the other boy. "dont sweat it, jiminie. everything happens for a reason. love you." taehyung says, trying to reassure his friend. jimin smiles, and although taehyung cant see it he knows its there. "love you too, tae. bye." he says gently, ending the call shortly afterwards. in all of his times of need, taehyung was always who he turned to. taehyung had been by his side for many, many years, and was used to jimin driving himself insane over things like this. this was the first time it had been over a boy, though.
don't forget about me
don't forget about me
even when i doubt you
i'm no good without you
when the feeling of loving someone else finally settled into his chest once he mulled it over in his head, no longer uncomfortable and scary but now more warming and beautiful, jimin knew exactly what he needed to do. jimin was so uncertain of almost everything in his life, but for the first time he knew what to do with himself. he quickly scrambled out of bed and pulled on the easiest pair of shoes to wear, before slipping quickly into a sweatshirt. he then attempted to tame his wild, messy hair and splashed his face with water before dashing out of the door like his life depended on it.
he ran the entire way to yoongis house, not stopping his fast pace for even a second. when he began approaching it, he saw that yoongi was sitting in his yard cross legged with a notebook perched in his lap. if jimin wasnt running so damn fast he might have admired how cute the older boy looked. "yoongi!" he called out from across the street, yoongis head snapping up immediately to watch jimin cross over the empty road. when jimin finally ran all the way up to yoongi, he had to catch his breath slightly before beginning to speak.
"yoon- yoongi. i- shit- im so sorry i was such an idiot. im sorry that it took me so long to answer you, i know that must've hurt. but- but i-" he stammered, not daring to make eye contact with the wide eyed boy in front of him. "i love you. god, i love you so much." jimin finally managed to get out, the weight on his chest lifting as he said each word. yoongi continued to stare at him in shock before pulling jimin in for a tight embrace. "i was so worried." yoongi whispered shakily to jimin, who shook his head lightly. "i was worried that i scared you off." yoongi said, and jimin smiled sadly at him.
"how could you ever scare me off? i love you, i've always loved you. im sorry it took so long for me to see it." jimin shook his head, sighing. yoongi just smiled widely at him this time, "it wouldnt matter if it took you three seconds to tell me or three years, park jimin. i would have waited no matter how long. i would've loved you even if you didnt end up loving me in return." yoongi explained gently, and jimin felt his stomach flip. jimin couldnt thank yoongi enough for just loving him the way that he did.
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a/n did this make sense?? idk it was kinda bad and im not really proud of it. its based off of the lyrics from the song doubt by twenty one pilots if you didnt know already! i really love them omgomg
lots of love, namjoon1994 !
