the low rumble of the heater pumping warm air into his bedroom did nothing to soothe his anxious thoughts. every night, at the same time, yoongi would receive a text from jimin. goodnight, hyung! sleep well. and since yoongi is rather cold hearted and almost always too busy to be knocked out of his thoughts by a text, most nights he wont even respond. that doesnt stop jimin from sending it, though. every night. except tonight, to his displeasure.
he sat uncomfortably on the edge of his unmade bed, elbows resting on his knees and phone in his hands. the device buzzes and the noise nearly makes him go into cardiac arrest. incoming call from; namjoon. yoongi grumbles, annoyed. "what is it, namjoon?" he asks harshly into the phone. namjoon just chuckles, "i was just going to ask you something regarding some lyrics, but it seems your not in the mood. boy troubles again?" namjoon says, making yoongi roll his eyes. "i'll call you back later." yoongi grumbles into the receiver before ending the call.
its been nearly a half an hour past the time of jimins usual text, and uneasiness has settled in the pit of his stomach. yoongi didnt actually understand why he cared so damn much. he was supposed to be working on a new track, slumped over his desk for the remainder of the night like always. but instead he sat, staring at his phone and awaiting a text from a overly cheerful orange haired boy. yoongi almost wanted to laugh at himself.
yoongi was just about to give up and fucking drag his ass all the way to jimins place before his phone made another noise. message from; jimin - sorry im late, hyung! dance practice ran late tonight! anyway, goodnight! sleep well! yoongi read the message and his heart filled with relief. yoongi shook his head as he sat at his desk, unable to keep a smile from spreading across his face. the sudden creaking of his door made yoongi jump in his seat.
"so it was a boy! i knew it!" namjoon practically screeched as he walked in, smiling suggestively at yoongi. yoongi threw him an annoyed glance. "how did you even get in?" he asked, to which namjoon just laughed. "i have a spare key, duh." he said, as if yoongi was an idiot. "oh yeah." yoongi muttered, sighing. fucking kim namjoon nearly gave him two heart attacks tonight.
"do you love him?" namjoon asked casually as he plopped down on yoongis bed as if he owned the place. yoongi looked at him, eyes unreadable. "no." he said simply, voice steady and certain. as far as he was concerned, he didnt love jimin. he loved things about jimin, but he just wasnt in love with him just yet. it would take time, yoongi wasnt one to rush into things. namjoon knew all about that, it took practically a whole year of friendship for him to tell him his last name. good thing its been seven years of friendship and namjoon now knows much more.
"hm, okay." namjoon finally responds, shrugging his shoulders. he knew he wasnt going to get anything else out of yoongi, so he didnt bother prying any further. "whats that?" namjoon says suddenly, worry in his eyes as he points to the multiple bruises on yoongis left hand. yoongi sighs, "doctor says due to lack of eating, i bruise easily now." he explains, shrugging lazily. namjoon sighs loudly, shaking his head. "you should take better care of yourself." he states seriously. "jimin says the same thing." yoongis words slip out of his mouth before he even has time to think.
"jimin, huh?" namjoon smirks, making yoongi roll his eyes dramatically. "yeah, whatever." yoongi mumbles nonchalantly. namjoon says nothing more, just eyes yoongi suspiciously when he reads what he wrote about someone with dark hair and a blinding smile. must be jimin, namjoon thinks to himself, deciding against saying it out loud. "so thats who you've been writing about all this time!" namjoon exclaimed instead.
yoongi just shrugs, turning away from namjoon, no emotion on his face thats readable. namjoon sighs again, "hyung, i dont mean to pry- but you need to get better with emotions." namjoon says, trying to cautiously bring up the topic without upsetting yoongi. this time its yoongi that sighs, "yeah, i know." he mutters, head shaking slightly. the topic makes yoongi suck a deep breath in, his mind reeling. he knows hes dysfunctional and moody and unemotional and cold hearted and often just plain old ruthless, but its hard to change.
jimin is the only thing that makes him want to be a better person, but sometimes he just slips. sometimes he blows up and burns anyone and anything in his path, hurting them unintentionally. its just what yoongi does, fucks things up. but when hes wallowing in self pity, thinking of just how terrible he is just like right now, he remembers jimins smile. and how he would do anything, to be the cause of a smile like that.
//
a/n heeeeey babes. i love you all. i now have 101k reads on this book and iM CRYING LIKE CRAZY BUT THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH YOU ALL HAVE MY HEART.
lots of love, namjoon1994 !
