"awake, wide eyed
im screaming at me
trying to keep faith and picture his face
staring up at me"
everything around them stilled. the frigid breeze in the night air halted, the low rumble of cars on the street suddenly didnt exist. all of a sudden, all jimin could hear was the shallow breaths coming from yoongis mouth. jimin moved his hand closer to yoongis own, "if our hands touch, will i loose you?" jimin asks, his voice sounding shaky and almost vulnerable. yoongis breath hitched momentarily in his throat, "maybe." he whispered, with a light shrug of his shoulders. it was the truth, though.
yoongi was like a mountain, often reminding jimin of the large ones surrounding his home town. yoongi is mighty and intimidating, but everyone wants to explore his heights. he stands still, not needing to actually speak, to be heard. but, just like mountains, there are cracks in him. tiny wavering cuts on the surface of his hard outer shell, trying their best to hold together. yoongi has never crumbled, not once before. not when his father died, not when he couldnt finish a song, never.
jimin took a leap of faith. he sucked in a sharp breath, and reached over for yoongis hand despite what he had said. yoongi froze, his body tense and startled from jimins sudden action. he soon exhaled, letting himself enjoy the warmth of jimins soft hand. and that was it. the mountain started to crumble. the cracks in himself started to open up slowly, and for the first time, yoongi truly felt like himself, who he actually is behind it all.
"without loosing a piece of me
how do i get to heaven?
without changing a part of me
how do i get to heaven?
all my time is wasted
feeling like my hearts mistaken, oh"
jimin nearly fell from his place on the cold park bench when yoongi tightened his grip on jimins hand. jimin turned to look at yoongi, but yoongi was already too busy looking at the stars that filled the sky. yoongi took a deep breath, shutting his eyes momentarily and letting the small breeze in the air push his bangs off of his forehead. he felt the cold wind on his neck, just thinking about the fact that jimins eyes twinkled much brighter than any of the millions of stars in the night sky.
yoongi moved his head slightly, eyes shifting to look to jimin, who was marveling up at the sky. fuck it, yoongi thought to himself, catching himself from actually saying it out loud. he looked away from jimin once again, "you wont loose me, jimin." he said, quieter than he had initially intended. jimins stomach flipped like it would while riding a roller coaster. "okay." he breathed out, the word sounding vaguely like a sigh. "good." he added, this time with a sigh of relief.
it had been a while since either of them had checked the time, but at this point they didnt really care much. for the first time in years, yoongi shrugged off having to finish a song. jimin put aside dance practice and voice lessons because they could both sit together, right there all day and still feel completely content. its really quite nice, yoongi thought to himself, to just have someone do the simple things like ask about your day. and jimin always did.
"so if im loosing a piece of me
maybe i dont want heaven?"
//
a/n okay i know the title of the chapter is kinda weird and doesnt really tie in to the plot exactly, but i just named it after troye sivans song (and added a question mark) bc i used his lyrics in this. i love troye sivan, he is my aesthetic. +i had a snow day today so with lots of free time on my hands comes new chapters! woohoo!
lots of love, namjoon1994 !
