Imagine If You Assembled the Avengers: Volume 1

Love in the Time of HYDRA (Steve Rogers x reader)

Part 1

"He's not here," you panted, jogging to meet up with Tony. "We've covered the entire area and there's no sign of him anywhere."

Tony opened his mask and looked around, still searching and still hoping. "Son of a bitch...I thought this would be it."

"I'm starting to lose hope now, dad. It's been months; if we find him now I'm scared that it will be just a body that they left behind. HYDRA doesn't take prisoners, remember?"

"(Y/N), we're going to find him, and I'm not giving up yet, alright? No one is." Tony looked at you with a weak smile, trying to be encouraging and failing miserably. "Cap would never go out without one hell of a fight. We're either gonna find him, or the trail of bodies he left behind."

~~~

When you arrived back at the tower, you knew it was going to be another long and disappointing conversation about where exactly you looked, how long you spent at each location, did you find anything that could be a clue, and a multitude of other questions that Bucky would ask, though he would never feel satisfied with any of your answers. When he met you as you exited the rear of the jet, he looked defeated before he even began.

"Nothing," he whispered, turning to leave. "Always nothing."

"Bucky, don't go."

"Do you have anything good to tell me, (Y/N)?

"Yeah, that we didn't find his body," you snapped, your fatigue and own frustrations starting to take their toll on you. "So I would say that's good, wouldn't you?"

Hearing your growing hostility, something struck a cord in him and he rushed forward, pushing you harshly against the side of the jet. "No, that's not necessarily good, (Y/N)! We don't know what they might be doing to him. They do horrible, painful things to people that they hate; things that change who you are forever. It might be better for him if we did find him...dead..." his voice trailed off at the word, and he slowly backed away.

"Okay," you sighed, "okay, I think we need to just take a break, step back for a minute, and get our heads clear. We can't fight, Bucky. We need to hold it together." You wearily grabbed your gear and made your way towards your room, ready for a little solitude and long hot shower.

You didn't want to give up on finding Steve either, but it was taking more and more to keep your focus and your optimism. He had been your only focus for almost three months now since the day he didn't return from a mission with Bucky, Sam and Natasha. When his name was spoken, it brought silence to any room, followed by regret and anger. The team was near a breaking point, and you feared its future if he wasn't found soon, either alive or dead.

When you were finally able to relax and let the hot water soothe your aching muscles, your emotions finally got the best of you; the stress had become too much, and your tears were mixing with the water that tried to wash them away.

"You're one of my best friends, (Y/N). It's not weird, is it?"

"Get out of my head, Steve," you whispered to yourself, the memories only making your tears stronger.

"I'd love to take you to dinner...if you want...I mean...if that's okay."

"We can go when I get back from the mission tomorrow. It should be a quick one."

You slid down the wall of the shower to sit on the floor, your mind and body completely exhausted and drained. Your brain was betraying you, repeating memories over and over, with flashes of Steve being tortured mixed within them, just to make them hurt a little more. It began to feel like you were never going to get that date after all, and that Bucky might be right.