Imagine If You Assembled the Avengers: Volume 1

I Am Who I Am (Rogers/Barnes)

This new body was a miracle of science. He could run faster than anyone, and finally without the fear that his lungs would give out from the asthma that plagued him all of his life. It took a tremendous effort to injure him, and when it happened he healed so quickly that it barely slowed him down. He was strong. So strong, in fact, that his shield had become more of a weapon than for its original use of protection; he rarely needed it. Sure, these changes were amazing, and gave him a new lease on life that he would have otherwise never had, but in this moment they meant nothing. They meant nothing to him if they couldn't protect his heart from being broken. They meant nothing when it felt as if his heart would never be healed.

"Come on, man, you know you can't get drunk. You're just wasting good liquor now."

Steve scoffed at Bucky as he threw back another shot of whiskey, direct from the bottle, and handed it to him to share. "Still gonna try though."

Bucky took the bottle from him, but rather than taking a drink he set it to the side and away from his friend. He sat quietly and studied Steve's face; the hint of red in his nose and cheeks, the sunken expression, and the hint of moisture welling in his eyes. He had seen this only a very few times before, and he knew that it was going to be a long night.

"What's her name?"

Steve's head snapped to look at Bucky, but quickly darted back to stare ahead. After a few minutes of continued silence, Bucky reluctantly handed the bottle back to Steve and rested his hand on his shoulder. "I'm right though? I've only ever seen you get this messed up over a lady."

"It's uh..." Steve mumbled under his breath, "it's not...exactly..." he paused, unsure of his words. He swirled the bottle in his hands and watched the liquid move inside, trying to focus on how he was going to find a way to say what he had only come to realize himself. "It's not a lady, Buck."

The silence hung in the air for a moment, and it felt like time had stopped for Steve. He continued to stare at the bottle, afraid to look at his best friend and see anything other than acceptance. He was terrified that this would be too much for Bucky to understand; hell, he was barely beginning to understand it himself. No matter how Bucky reacted, it wouldn't change anything, but that would have to be okay. This is who he is, and he would remain true to that.

"Okay, so then what's his name? I can kick their ass no matter what their gender is."

Steve finally turned to look at Bucky, holding his gaze with a look of shock and confusion. "Wait, that's it? I thought you might have a bit more to say about this. It's not like I just revealed some mundane detail, here."

"Oh! I'm sorry," Bucky gasped as he feigned surprise and put his hand over his chest dramatically, "oh my god! Steve, I just don't believe it! This changes everything!"

"Shut the hell up, ya jerk." Steve couldn't help but chuckle a bit, feeling a small sense of relief for the first time in hours. He leaned forward against the bar and rested his head in his hand, the other peeling the label away from the nearly empty bottle. "That's the reaction I had, so why wouldn't I expect it from you?"

"Give me some credit, kid. It doesn't change a damn thing as far as I'm concerned. We love who we love. When they don't love us back, it hurts like hell, and the last thing I'm gonna do is walk away when you're sitting there with that hurt puppy look on your face."

Steve felt the sting of tears building again, but held them back. "Dr. Erskine said that everything about me would be enhanced, even who I was as a person. And this is who I am; I guess I just didn't realize it before." He nodded and swallowed hard, still trying to fight against the lump in his throat that just wouldn't go away. "Thank you, Buck. Sorry I didn't think better of you."

"I'm with ya till the end of the line, pal." Bucky slapped him swiftly on the back and stood next to him, "okay, but seriously, I'm gonna need a name."