Imagine If You Assembled the Avengers: Volume 1

Just Touch My Cheek Before You Leave Me (Deadpool x reader)

Okay, it's Deadpool, so there's gonna be language. This is my first real Deadpool attempt, so be kind.

"He's late, huh?"

"Yeah," you sighed, "he has a lot going on right now, so I guess I can't get too mad."  You glanced down at your watch again for what felt like the hundredth time, but the hands had moved only millimeters since your last time check. 

"You want me to wait with you?"

"Nah, Cap, I'm good. Thanks anyway."  As you watched your teammate walk away you considered if you should just give up and go to your room for the night, or maybe take your frustrations out on the punching bag, but you ultimately decided that Parker would be the recipient of your rage if he didn't show up for your date within the next five minutes.  He was the one who asked you out, so common courtesy would at least mean to be on time.

"Sir, you can't go in there."

You heard a whistling coming from the lobby of the tower that caught your interest, knowing that if it were Peter showing up, the guards would have just announced his arrival.  Quickly making your way out there, you stopped at the sight of a man in a red suit, but it wasn't the red suit that you had been expecting.  When he saw you in return, his hands immediately went to his face in surprise.

"Holy mother of...goddammit you're hot!  Webby said you were pretty, but fuck me, I had no idea!"

"Thank you?" you smirked, feeling a slight blush on your cheeks from both the attention and the man's vulgar choice of phrasing.  "And who are you, exactly?"

"My lady," he said, extending his arm out so that you could loop yours through.  "Pool, Dead.  Pleasure, mine."  He stood waiting for your hand, but you didn't take him up on the offer right away; you held your place and stared at him with your confusion still apparent in your expression.  "I'm here to pick you up for your date.  Sorry, I probably should lead with that, huh?"

"It would certainly help, yeah.  So...you're taking me where, exactly?"  You finally decided to put your arm in his and gave the guards a small wave to allow you to go as he led you out and onto the busy city street.

"Mr. Parker has requested the honor of your presence...ah, shit, can't do it," he huffed, "Slinger got stuck on a job and is running late, as you might have noticed."

You laughed out loud and slapped his arm, making him jump just slightly, "he got stuck on a job? Really?  Spiderman got stuck?"

Wade stopped in his tracks and leaned his head back letting out a loud but sarcastic laugh and shaking his head.  After only a few seconds he silenced and looked at you, pointing his finger almost harshly.  "Listen, I don't care how hot you are, or how fucking amazing your ass looks in those jeans...which is beyond what is acceptable for hot to be, by the way."  He pulled his arm away and turned to hold his hands out towards your backside, "I mean, have you seen your ass?!  Bam, baby!" When you didn't reply he turned and looked at the man in the cab next to him for assistance.  "Am I right?"

"Yes, Mr. Pool, she definitely has a very admirable posterior."

"Thank you, Dopinder! You've always got my back."  He glanced at you and then brought his hand to his chin, rubbing it uncertainly, "what was I talking about...?"

"Your posterior is quite admirable as well, if I might say," the driver added.  "Shall I take your pair of admirable asses to the restaurant now?"

Wade opened the back door of the cab and jumped in, leaving you standing on the sidewalk with your arms crossed and an amused look on your face.  A few seconds later his head popped out from the door, and if you could see his face beyond the mask, you thought that maybe he was embarrassed at his error.  "You getting in, sweet cheeks, or are you waiting for an invitation?"