Tu Jo Mile Jindari Jannata ve Jannata...❣️ #sidnaaz

Guroor?

"Ki kaha jehdi mann di ae gal
Tu te ho sakda ae paagal
Baat meri rahi ankahi ansuni
Tu samajh le sanam
Chaahe main kahoon na kahoon, haaye
Main te jaana dil se teri hoon"

I step back into my room opening up my suitcase to change. I flip through my clothes not finding the night suit I was sure I'd placed at the top, when I see two shirts that were definitely not my own. I pull them out to get a better look but gasp identifying exactly where they'd come from. They were both Sidharth's, the shirts he'd usually pair with his shorts before he headed to sleep. I sniff them inhaling the strong scent of him and his cologne, a smile instantly playing on my lips. I pick up the bus one with a stripe through the middle and decide to put it on. No one would realize it's not mine as long as I could make it look like my own.

Cute toh bohut hai kullu. I really needed these. Yaad krne k liye bhi but to feel his presence even when he wasn't really here.  He'd sneaked in these shirts this morning for sure. The mere thought made me smile. He masked his feelings and actions well sometimes. I pull over the shirt, looking into the mirror as it fit itself over my tiny body. I wanted to shriek out of happiness when I saw how cute it looked. It was almost big enough to be worn alone. I silently jump up and down in excitement while a storm of emotions ran up inside me. I wanted to call him back and talk all night if it was possible or maybe even fly back a bit earlier and just spend my whole life in his presence. I hated being  away even more now. He was clearly doubting if I'd perhaps get over the connection I had with him just because we hadn't spent too many days together but he didn't realize how important he was to me or even how important this gesture of his was. I look back outside at the sky.

I shake away my thoughts climbing down the stairs to put my phone in charging before I joined Nani ma to sleep. Everyone was still up but they sat in different places if the house, indulged in a variety of conversations. I rush through wishing everyone a good night before I entered Nanus room, wearing one of his shirt and a pair of thin sweats. The lights were mostly out other than the dim nightlight plugged into an outlet. It was shaped like a star. Nani Ma had already fallen asleep so I snuggle my body into her as lightly as I could, laying my head into my pillow. Sleep toke over me in seconds. I was surely tired from everything that happened today but it was worse thanks to the dead end of my thoughts. I sigh letting my eyes close. This could wait.

Sidharth:

The ugly thoughts still flooded my mind when I hear my phone ping again, with a few notifications light up the black screen.
Shehnaaz. Of course. She's the only one who could actually text me and expect a response. I had a maximum of 20 contacts, and about half of them were people I only talked to professionally for my dad's company. I open my phone seeing the pictures she'd sent if the gurudwara she was visiting. It was surreal. The calmness reflecting off of the pictures. She'd written that I'd have to join her the next time she went but little did she know I'd already committed my self to that. A few hours away from her were causing so much stress and insecurities, I couldn't t even imagine how I was getting over with 4 days. I move back out of the house letting my mom know I was heading over to Vikas. I needed some time away from places that reminded me of her. I drive there in my car not wanting to ride my bike alone anymore. I needed her warmth against me.

V- "Aagya Tu? Chal bta ab kaise jaa raha hai day 1 without Khushi?"

Vikas asks laughing as if the suffocation I felt was a joke. I give him a weak smile slipping into the sofa. "Kaise hoga? I'm bored like hell. Mujhe pta hi nhi hai uske bina kya karun, ya kahan jaun. Har jagah ussi ki yaad aati hai and idk man isiliye pyaar se door rehta hu main."