Tu Jo Mile Jindari Jannata ve Jannata...❣️ #sidnaaz

Our Baby

The doctor came back in 3 hours later, having had all the necessary equipment already moved into the room. I smiled at her and both of the nurses she brought in with herself. I'd let Sidharth help me walk around the room for the past 30 - 40 minutes trying my best to not have to wait any longer for dilation. The pain had only grown mixing with the slight fear and nervousness I was having as the moment got closer. I was glad Sidharth was allowed in the room because however nervous he himself may be I knew his presence in the room was the only thing that would keep me calmer than what I'd be without him.

D - "Shehnaaz? Are you sure about not wanting the epidural ? Natural birth mein pain bohut zyada hoga"

I give her a nod, I didn't want anything to take away from the experience. Epidurals seemed like a normal choice but they still had their own risks and it wasnt as if theyd take away all the pain, natural birth was said to be better for the connection the baby and mother had. Mostly because the process was uninterrupted by any medications that could potentially have short term affects on the baby. The doctor gave me a smile adjusting the bed and all the machines to make sure we were all set.

Sidharth :

I sat through the process they did to make her as comfortable as possible before the birth procedure began. My mind was fazed since she'd woken me up almost 5 hours ago. The thoughts of bot being ready enough bothering me to no end, on too of that we hadn't had time to even bring anyone along. The initial pain seemed much worse than what it was now or perhaps it was just her panicking. She seemed a tad bit calmer already trying her best to smile through what she was feeling. The papers and machines seemed to through the last bit of relief I could give myself right out the window. I wasnt to sure of what made the doctors think a to be father and husband was in the right mindset right before birth to make the choice they put forward. It seemed nothing but stupid to me knowing I'd be quicker to put myself in danger if the only other choices were my wife or my baby. Over top of that Shehnaaz had the brilliant idea to ask me to choose the baby and decide on not taking any of the medicines they gave for the pain that was very obviously not as easy as she tried to show. I'd seen and felt her wince all through the time we were here, the painful groans enough to make me want to sit out of the room while this continued to happen. I couldnt see her like that but I also couldnt leave her alone knowing she'd need me.

D - "Sidharth? We're ready to go, aap change kr aao and we'll begin"

I nod softly, getting off of the small chair I'd been sitting on leaving the hand I'd clutched for pretty much the entire 5 hours. I visibly saw her face wither away all the confidence it held earlier. I till date was overwhelmed at how high of a regard she gave me in her life even when I rarely did anything to maintain it. I did almost nothing compared to everything she did for our home, our life and now even our baby. She was the constant, the one person that hadnt changed even after facing so much along with me. She was still the same angel that had flipped the entire mood of our home with 2 days of her presence. Becoming the friend Maa needed and the wall I needed to lean back on all whilst becoming the shield for both of us whenever anything came our way. I wondered how people even managed to find reasons to hate on her knowing all she'd done. My mind flew back all through the last 8 years. The first conversation we had about kids, each and everytime I teased her about the same, the little scare we'd had before realizing how much we both wanted it to be reality. So much had changed and yet so much was the same. The way I was more worried about her and the pain than her or how she was constantly trying to reassure me even while being so unsure herself. It was all the same. The same care and the same overwhelming love. I moved back into the room fiddling with the ties on the gown I was given. I sat back on the seat beside her letting the tears clouding my eyes fill in at the utmost lingering emotion in the room. I grab her hand bringing it to my lips before leaning in letting my lips linger against her temple as the doctor started the procedure. Her breathing got shallower by the minute, I could here her hiss over the noise of the machines and shield of the oxygen mask.