Tu Jo Mile Jindari Jannata ve Jannata...❣️ #sidnaaz

Missed Confession?

Mom smacked my face bringing me back from the long run of thoughts. I cough hiding away the red of my cheeks. There was no way I'd let my mom tease me. Moving back into the room I sit against my bed holding the teddy bear she'd left. It smelt like her. A sweet calming scent. I still couldn't digest the fact that I was named after this bear. Kullu.. I chuckle thinking of how her mind works sometimes. I hated the deep void I was feeling even with a smile on my face. I thought of how she'd react to the shirts I'd packed or what exactly she was doing right now. I closed my eyes not noticing when I dozed off to sleep, my arms tight around the stuffed bear.

I woke up irritated. First off I needed food and secondly my mother was gone yet again. She'd made perfect use of what Shehnaaz had taught her. She roamed around the whole building making friends and now unlike before she never had time for me. She wouldn't wait until I was up or come put me to sleep. She'd began a little life of her own m. For which I was happy but this was too much.  I was already in a bad mood due to the punjab trip and now here she was leaving the food poured into a plate but not bothering to wake me up.

After the food and watching a bit of the news I went back to sleep. The news of that girl being forced to marry was replaying in my mind again and again. Since the morning I'd been feeling as if something was going to happen to Shehnaaz but the news just increased my doubt. These things were still normal in Punjab.

My phone rings awakening me from the nap I'd taken. Without looking at the phone I pick up knowing it'd be Shehnaaz.

Si - "Mil gya time tujhe?" I ask rubbing my eyes as a yawn left my mouth.

S - "Woh bas ghar mein busy ho gye the saare.. kal engagement hai na, meri toh-"

Wtf?! What. The. Fuck. Where did this engagement come from?! Aur meri? Meri ka kya mtlb hai?! She's there to meet her family.. or maybe, No no no. Breath Sidharth breath. Just ask her. I open my mouth the questions instantly flowing from my mouth in form of allegations. I could careless. My mind was nowhere near the state of being okay with this information and my heart thumping so loud only made it worse. The suffocation climbing back down my throat.

Si - "engagement? Meri ka kya mtlb hai??!  Tune toh kaha tha milne jaa rahi hu. Aur ye? Ye churiya toh Punjab mein shadi se pehle pehn Te hai na? Tune kyun pehni hai yeh ? Wait wait? Tu isiliye itni tyaar thi? Tab hi aise kapre leke gyi hai waha."

I swear on myself If she's doing any of this to mess with me.. I will not leave her alive. None of this was a joke. And if on the other hand it was real... I'd lose all and any hope I had for myself. 

S - "Haye tujhe pta chal gya? Chal achaa hai na? Maine vaise bhi maa ko shaadi ka card bhej diya hai. Kal engagement hai meri. Tujhe live telecast dikhaungi-"

Is she fucking serious?! Live telecast my foot. Wth is she saying?! Maa ko kaunsa invite bheja hai isne? Gadha samjha hai kya inhone ne mujhe? Kabi kuch batate hi nhi hain. There's no way any of this is for real. Not at all. Churiyan pehna dene se koi shadi nhi ho jaye gi.

Si - "Tera dimag theek hai? Kya bakwas hai yeh? Soch bhi kaise liya aur mujhe bataya bhi nhi? Itna hi close hu kya main? Pehle toh bda family family krti thi. Ab ? Just fuck off. Fuck off. Baat mat krna mere se. Kr shadi jisse bhi krni hai. Mujhe kya? Jo krna hai kr. Main hi pagal hu-"

I watched my hand against the metal vase  placed upon my nightstand. The phone would be next. My mind was already bothered enough. This was the last thing I needed. Especially Right Now. A time where I had no power to keep her guarded in my arms.

S - "Bebu bebuuuuuu ik minute. Mazaak kr rhi thi kullu. Kyun shadi karungi main aise yaha? Pagal aadmi. Tune galat socha is liye mazaak kr rhi thi. Aur kuch nhi hai. Sorry Sidharth. Schi. Yeh toh woh mami ne pehna di. Kasam lge tujhe... call mat cut krna."