Deception (1) {D.S.}

{44} On My Way To The Airport

Song lyric is from: Come To Brazil -Why Don't We
~

It's been almost a month since I've last spoken or seen Daniel. Every time I've gone to the Why Don't We house he's either in his room to avoid me or just not home. Anna mentioned that he's been visiting Keri and Jeff a lot lately and she doesn't know why.
The dreams have stopped and I think it's because I now know what they're about but I still don't know why exactly I would have them in the first place. Obviously Daniel being in "love" with me four years ago doesn't matter anymore and he wants to forget about it.
I can't stop thinking about it though. I can't help but wonder if maybe I felt that way about him at some point and I'm being reminded of it. Maybe it's something I've pushed down because I don't want to remember.

"Get yours bags!" Christina called out.

Right... It's currently 5am and the girls, all of us Trust Fund Babies are flying out to Paris, France for three days for vacation. Lavender is staying with Jack at the Why Don't We house and this trip is giving us an opportunity to spend time together away from the guys since we hardly ever do stuff together without them.

I quickly grabbed a suitcase off the top shelf of my closet and stuff some of my clothes into it. I was supposed to be prepared yesterday night but I was too lazy to do so.

"Maddie!" Christina yelled.

"Give me a minute!" I yelled back. I grabbed the bathroom stuff I needed and threw them in there a long with a phone charger. I put a pair of earphones in my hoodie pocket for the plane ride there.
I walked out of my room, suitcase in hand and looked at the girls who were all lined up by the door waiting to go.

"You didn't pack last night did you?" Gabbie laughed.

"Nope. I was too lazy for that but I'm ready now," I told them.
We headed downstairs to Christina's car since the trunk is big enough to pile our suitcases in.
We got into the car having me, Tate, and Gabbie in the backseat and Kay and Christina in the front. Christina drove obviously.

It only took about thirty minutes to get to the airport and when we did we all got out groggily-like and took our suitcases out from the trunk.

"I'm so tired y'all don't even know," Kay rubbed her eyes.

"No way. I'm a lot more tired than you are. I only slept five hours," I yawned.

"Quit complaining. You can sleep on the plane ride there," Christina said.

We got inside the airport and went through security and bag check which actually didn't take as long as I thought it would.

My phone started to buzz in my hoodie pocket and I sighed, grabbing it out as we waiting for the announcement about that our plane is boarding.

zach 🤙🏼
I know that you probably don't want to talk about it again but what happened with daniel?

maddie 🌼
I broke it off with him because it's wrong and why the hell are you awake?

zach 🤙🏼
I literally just can't sleep

zach 🤙🏼
is kay okay? she won't answer my texts

maddie 🌼
her phone is off and mine should be too for stupid reasons like this ZACH

zach 🤙🏼
you think I'm stupid? 🥺

maddie 🌼
noooo I just think you shouldn't text me about daniel

maddie 🌼
how did you even know something happened between us

zach 🤙🏼
he's been acting weird

zach 🤙🏼
and he hasn't been going out late at night no more the guys just assumed he's been dating some secret girl

maddie 🌼
well he isn't dating a secret girl, just kissing one and that's not even happening anymore

The announcement for our plane was called twice and we got up to get on.

maddie 🌼
gtg our planes boarding

zach 🤙🏼
see ya

I found my seat next to Gabbie. Christina sat alone but in the aisle seat next to us but really it was next to me because Gabbie took the window seat since I'm scared of heights.
I put my phone on airplane mode and put my earphones in to listen to my depressing ass music because that's what I feel like; depressed.
The first song to come on is my Why Don't We favorite, I Still Do but I skipped it since it didn't feel appropriate in my situation.

"Did you just skip a Why Don't We song? The guys would kill you for that if they knew," Gabbie joked.

I smiled, "It just wasn't a song I want to listen to right now."

"Okay then," she nodded and looked out the window when the plane started to take off.

I can't wait to see Paris in person. It's always been a dream to visit that place since I was a little girl and I felt super jealous when the guys went there on tour. They took lots of pictures to send to me and post but it only made my jealousy worse. Now finally I get to go to my dream vacation place and I couldn't be happier except something about it is missing.
I wish I was going with Daniel.
Daniel of all people.

What has he turned me into? I want him so bad but I can't have him.
I don't want him as a boyfriend but in others ways I do want him. I want to go back to what we were doing but it's just bad for the both of us. I've explained it thousand of times.

The song I ended up listening to was Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson which reminded me of the time Jonah was showing me Daniels cover of Breakaway on American Idol in which he got rejected on. He doesn't like to talk about it and probably doesn't even know that I've seen season 14 of the show just to see him on it after Jonah told me about it.