Deception (1) {D.S.}

{39} You Go Crawling Back

Song lyric is from: Hard -Why Don't We
~

"Do you have any plans for today?" Christian asked. We're currently at my shared apartment sitting on the couch just chilling. He's been on his phone most of the time so it's been boring but now he finally decides to speak up.

"Actually yes. I was wondering if you want to go on a date later tonight?"
This way the suspicion over Daniel and I will go away completely.

"I would love to," he kissed my forehead. God I hate forehead kisses and he doesn't even know that. Cheek kisses I would much rather prefer.

"Is everything okay?" He got worried.

"Yeah I'm fine. Where do you want to go for our date?" I snapped out of spacing out.

"How about a fast food date? I know how much you love McDonalds."

"It's embarrassing how much I love it but I'm game for a fast food date," I smiled.

daniel 💙
have you forgiven me yet?

daniel 💙
it's been ten days

maddie 🌼
you're counting?

daniel 💙
ofc I am

maddie 🌼
I'm still thinking about it

daniel 💙
I miss you

Truth is, I miss him too. A lot. I miss us being best friends and hanging out even if it causes Christian to suspect something is going on. He wasn't actually mad me when he yelled at me, he was mad at the idea of his relationship with his brother being ruined and he took it out on me.

I should just forgive him.

•
"I'm back," Christian walked in with a McDonalds bag and two drinks. He set them down on the counter and sat on a stool.

I grabbed my food to start eating so this can end. I feel so horrible for doing this to him but I don't think I'm in love with him anymore.
I still love him but not like that. Spending so much time without him lately made me realize that and maybe it's a good thing because if I didn't figure it out I'd be spending the rest of my life with something that I don't actually love.
Being with him now feels so different. I can't even remember when I had feelings for him.
I am so fucked.

"I was thinking that we should head over to the Why Don't We house just to hang, you know; after our date," Christian suggested.

"It's a plan." So... A night spent with the Seavey brothers and the band. What harm could this do?

"Are you sure you're okay? You seem a little off," he ate a fry.

"No I'm fine, I promise you I'm fine."

"I wasn't going to say anything but you just seem like you aren't into me anymore," he looked down.

My eyes widened and I quickly reached for his hand, "Of course I'm into you. I just have a lot on my mind."

He faintly smiled, "Good. I was worried that you were going to break up with me."