Deception (1) {D.S.}

{64} I Might Fall Again, I Might Fall ⚠️

Song lyric is from: Be Myself -Why Don't We (unreleased at the time of this chapter)
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maddie 🌼
hey hoe happy birthday 🎉

jack 💛
thank youuu

It's such a surprise that today would be another birthday. July 1st, Jack's 22nd birthday. He wanted to celebrate it with just him, Gabbie, and Lavender which I think is very sweet.

My mood swings have been a bitch to me and I'm almost three months pregnant. Christian has gotten tired of the constant changes that he thought it would be better to take some time away from each other until I LEARN to be nice. He doesn't understand that I'm not controlling this. Daniel's baby has an attitude all the time.

I took a big drink of apple juice while being bored out of my mind in the kitchen.

"That is definitely my kid. You mind?" Daniel grabbed the jug of apple juice from the fridge.

"Don't drink it all. I want some."

"You have some."

"I said, I want some."

"Okay fine here," he gave me the jug and I poured more into my cup even though it was already half way full.

"How have you been feeling?"

"I got up to throw up, brushed my teeth, threw up so more so decided to not brush my teeth again because what's the point? So you tell me, am I happy or miserable?"

"On the inside I think you're happy but on the outside you're miserable."

"Correct. I am happy to be having a baby but miserable to have to deal with consequences."

"I'm sure the morning sickness will stop."

"It's supposed to yes but did you know that women who don't have morning sickness have a lower chance of having a miscarriage?"

He furrowed his eyebrows, "Please don't talk about bad things that could happen to our baby."

My mood went from slightly annoyed to worried really quick. That's what happens when you're pregnant.

"I'm not that far along, you know. I'm only two months."

"You can't talk like that. The baby can probably hear you."

"Really?"

"I don't know. I'm not an expert."

"Baby books! That's what I need," I downed all the apple juice in my cup then got up from the stool at the counter. "But first," I walked over to Daniel and kissed him.

"You taste like apple juice," he smiled.

"That's all you have to say?"

"I'm not going to have sex with a pregnant woman," he backed up.

"I haven't had sex with you in two months."

"I am not conceiving twins."

"Oh you got to be fucking kidding me. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say."

"I'm kidding," he grabbed my arm to pull me closer and kissed me. "When will the girls be home?" He pulled away.

"Twenty minutes or so. Shouldn't be long."

"Great! That's all we need," he led me to my own bedroom. I took his shirt off and placed my hands over his abs to kiss him again. He deepened it, resting his hands on my lower waist. I pulled away so we could both completely undress. I'm still not showing so it's like I've never even gotten pregnant.

We had to make this quick so undressing ourselves is the easiest.

I laid down on my bed and he got on top of me, going back to kissing me. It was more passionate and softer than any other time we've done this.

"Ready?" He asked.

I nodded and he thrusted into me.

"Be careful though because you know... baby," I put my hands on his back.

He chuckled, "I'll be careful." He kissed me softly and continued to thrust in and out slowly.
I fall in love with him over and over again each time I see him. I don't know how much longer I can contain my feelings to everyone else especially now that we're having a baby together. He keeps using me loving him as an excuse to why he has to know everything going on in my life and he hasn't even told me he loves me back. It's like I'm in this by myself and maybe the reason why he doesn't want me to break up with Christian is because he doesn't feel the same way and doesn't want to be the reason why my relationship falls apart.
But he's already a reason and has been for awhile.

•
We finished and I sat up in my bed, pulling the blankets up to cover my body.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked me as he put all his clothes back on.

"Nothing."

"You can talk to me, you know. I'm always here for you."

"Daniel, I told you that I love you."

"I know and I love you too."

"No, I told you that I'm in love with you."

He pursed his lips together, "I have a hard time committing."

"What do you mean?"

"Just because I haven't said it yet doesn't mean I don't feel it. I'll see you later," he left my room leaving me speechless. That was a confession right?

I smiled and got up to put my clothes on.

"How are things going with you guys?" Tate walked in.

"We're trying to figure something out with Christian."

"Oh okay. Even though you're having Christians baby?"

"I don't want to be with Christian. I want to be with Daniel."

I won't tell Zach or Tate that I'm having Daniel's baby because the less people that know right now the better but eventually we'll tell them despite Daniel wanting to never tell anyone.
I don't understand how he could possibly be okay with that but I'm not. Daniel is who I want to be with and we can't be together if I'm not allowed to confess my affair with him.

In a few months it'll be a year since we started this; a year of being unloyal and deceiving the people in my life, a year of being a horrible person behind everyone's back.