· Struggling Sexuality ·

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Enjoy! xx

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Alyssa's POV

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"Okay, I really have to go now"

"You sure?"

"Yes, I- okay, don't stop"

I lay back down and let Alex's lips do the work on my neck. Her lips work up my neck, circulating my earlobe area. Her lips suck softly at my skin and I let out a soft groan, shutting my eyes at the amazing sensation. 

When Alex first suggested dating, I jumped at the chance. I have had some suspicions of me being bisexual, but then again, I had only dated boys before. When I confided in Alex, who was my friend at the time, she said it didn't matter if all I dated were boys. I guess it was time for a change. 

I met Alex in the building where the twins have most of their meetings. She was the girl who walked in on me crying in the bathroom. She had given me a paper towel and from that point on, I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her. We met again at the mall by accident and starting talking. I guess it went well because she's my girlfriend now. 

"Okay, this feels fucking great," I smile, opening my eyes to meet Alex's blue ones. "But I have to go before my brothers freak"

Alex rolls her eyes but gets off of me and flops down on her bed next to me. 

"Tell me why you haven't told them yet?"

I sigh. "I don't know how'd they feel. I just don't want them to look at or treat me differently"

Alex smiles, revealing her cute dimples and perfect teeth. 

"Aren't they pro all that shit?"

I shrug. "Yeah, but maybe they feel differently about having family members be gay"

Alex rolls her eyes. "That's stupid"

Alex rolls off the bed and walks to the window. Her fingers unlatch the shutters and she pushes the windows open, reaching into her back pocket for a cigarette. I sigh and rest my chin in my hand, watching her. 

"That's stupid," I say, pointing to her cigarette.

Alex shrugs and blows smoke out of her nose. She looks like a sexy, pink-haired dragon. 

"I thought you had to leave?"

I roll my eyes but grin at her sarcastic nature. I grab my stuff and give her a quick kiss before exiting her bedroom. 

"Are you leaving, honey?" Mrs Mayors asks, giving me a smile. 

Mrs Mayors is Alex's mom. She's also pretty cool and lets me come over at any time. She knows about me and Alex and even lets us keep the door closed when we're together. I know that would never fly with Ethan and Grayson. 

"I have to," I smile, giving her a hug. "My brothers are expecting me back in ten minutes so I should run"

"I'll see you soon!" 

Mrs Mayors (Mallory) waves as I walk downstairs and out the door. I love Alex's mother so much. Both of them have such a great relationship and I hope I can have that type of relationship when I eventually come out to the twins. 

***

"I'm back!" I call, shutting the front door behind me. "Sorry, I'm a little late. I found a cat on the side of the street who wanted some cuddles"

"That's okay," Ethan smiles, walking out of the living room. "How was studying?"

Ah, yes. I lied to the twins and told them I went over to Alex's to study. Technically, I was studying....her lips, but that's beside the point. 

"Good," I reply, leaving my bag by the stairs. "I kind of get quadratic formulas now"

Ethan makes a face and sighs. 

"Thank god I never have to do math again"

"Lucky," I grumble. 

Ethan walks into the kitchen and I follow, joining Grayson and Lauren. 

"Hey, you're back," Gray smiles, putting an arm around my shoulders. "Everything good? How's Alex?"

"Alex is great," I reply. "We're almost ready for the finals"

"Aren't they three weeks away?" Lauren frowns. 

"Better to get a headstart with these things," I sigh, sitting down at the counter. 

"She's a nerd," Ethan chuckles, ruffling my hair. "Don't mind her"

"Don't mind her, she's a nerd," I mimic his deep voice, pulling a face at him. 

My phone pings and I lift my eyes to the camera to unlock the home screen. I immediately shove the phone back in my pocket, forgetting that Alex's texts can be very...let's say...sexually diverse. 

"Alex seems to be helping a lot," Grayson says, giving me a small smile.

I feel my cheeks go pink and I have to look down at the countertop, hoping he doesn't notice. Does he know? Sometimes the twins talk about Alex as if they know we're dating. 

"Y-yes she is," I stutter, thinking about the texts. "Lots"

"That's sweet," Kristina beams. "It's nice how much time you're spending together"

Oh God, this conversation is turning suspicious now. 

"Okay," I say brightly, hopping off my stool. "I'm tired, need a shower and then ready to get into bed"

"Are you sure you don't want to eat anything?" Ethan asks, raising an eyebrow at me. 

"I'm sure," I confirm, giving both boys a hug. "Goodnight"

"Goodnight, munch," Gray says with a smile. 

I jog upstairs and to my room. The guys agreed to get off my back with my eating habits and all. I've been eating consistently lately and the last doctor's appointment was positive and successful, hence letting the twins calm down and leave me alone for a bit. 

I shut my bedroom door behind me and take a deep breath. Keeping this secret has been killing me on the inside. Don't get me wrong, I love the sneaky aspect of the relationship, seeing as it adds some spark and excitement, but I'm tired of having to lie and make excuses to go out and see Alex all the time. 

I sigh but tell myself to calm down. I'll tell the twins soon. 

I drop my bag by my bed and turn to the window to see the moon. Instead, I get greeted by a girl with pink hair and blue eyes with smudged black liner. I contain my scream of surprise and go to open the window. 

"What are you doing here?"I hiss, helping her inside.

Alex shakes her head and crumples onto my bed, her cries soft, yet strong. I look around my room and hope everyone is still downstairs. Alex isn't sobbing, but she's loud enough to hear if you're quiet. 

"Babe, what's wrong?" I ask, shutting the window. "You know I care about you, but you can't just show up here. What if the twins saw you?"

Alex shakes her head and takes a shivery breath as I grab her a box of kleenex. Alex never cries, so I know this must be serious. 

"Alex, what's wrong?" I question again, softening my voice. 

Alex looks up at me, her blue eyes watery and her cheeks black with mascara stains.

"He's back"

I frown, clearly confused. I go to ask, but Alex seems to have read my mind. 

"My dad. He's back"

I put my arms around her as she falls apart again. 

This isn't good. 

***

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